Austin, TEXAS, December 30, 2005 — As the year draws to a close we all seem drawn to reflection. We make our own personal resolutions. Wrap up talking about our own little worlds. The papers have the year marked in pictures, deaths, quotes. Things that are supposed to be important to all of us but have faded from our memories.

I think we can only survive by keeping up those boundaries. By not exposing ourselves to wholeheartedly to problems outside our realm.

My life is good and I'm happy and my problems are miniscule. But they are my problems. And oh so much more important to me.

The world's problems trouble me, of course. I wish I could do something about war and hunger and disease. I wish I could do something about the fact that women are property in many countries. I wish I could do something about global warming. (Other than driving an ultra low emission vehicle, of course.)

Closer to me there are friends struggling mightily with diseases and other troubles. I feel bad for them, but helpless, too.

My single friend who wants a different job and maybe a different, more artistic (and hence satisfying) life? It's not my problem. And doesn't require my financial or emotional support. My single friend who is looking for love but finds many men 'not her type?' It's not my problem to figure out who that type is. My friend who has been married for twenty years whose wife wants her freedom? It's not my problem. My friends who are still working in the crazy industry I left and being driven to distraction by it? It's not my problem.

Keeping up with all the people who want to keep up with me? It's not entirely my problem.

What are my problems? Figuring out how to do better with the finances of this family. Figuring out how to do the charity party in February without a caterer. Figuring out how to downsize ourselves to save money. Helping keep our old folks comfortable in old age. Figuring out how to take some weight off. Again. Nursing our old dog through her current crisis.

Doesn't sound like much in comparision to the big world out there. We weren't wiped out by a hurricane or tsunami or earthquake or flood or tornado. We haven't gotten a bad health report. But, hey, these are my problems.

My problems seem simple enough. There are many unknowns, of course. Interest rates and rising costs and unexpected expenses affect finances and there is little you can really control. Since I don't cook very well, I may end up just spending the money on the caterer. But not before giving it a try. Which I decided today would entail first cleaning out my refrigerator (which I did) and my pantry and some cabinets (which I didn't). Downsizing is constantly on my mind these days and makes me look at every object in a new way, but at the end of the day you can just get a storage unit and pile it with boxes and delay the inevitable.

The old folks are unknowns to the max. Unknowns cubed. You know that people who are all over 85 are going to have crises, problems, declines. Some things can be planned. Some are wait and see. Mostly it is just waiting.

Being too fat is a simple matter of calories vs. expending calories. How hard could it be? We all know the answer to that one. But it takes time.

And the dog? Doctor her. Check her. Take her to the vet. Repeat.

My problems all seem to involve things that you can't solve right away. Except the party, of course. Where's that caterer's phone number?

Since this is a time for introspection for everyone, I noticed newspaper columnists addressing these issues. In yesterday's New York Times I found a couple of editorials and an economics column that offered some interesting advice.

"Too much analysis can confuse people about how they really feel." "If we are dissatisfied with some aspect of our lives, one of the best approaches is to act more like the person we want to be, rather than sitting around analyzing ourselves." (Timothy D. Wilson.) Now that's a blow to all us self-absorbed journalers.

"John Stuart Mill said 'Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.' [and further] 'Those are only happy who have their minds fixed on some object other than their own happiness; on the happiness of others, on the improvement of mankind, even on some art or pursuit, followed not as a means, but as itself an ideal end. Aiming thus at something else, they find happiness by the way.' Have dinner with your family or walk in the park with friends. If you're so inclined, put in some good hours in the office or at your favorite charity, temple or church. Work on your jump shot or your child's model trains. With luck, you'll find happiness by the by. If not, your time won't be wasted. You may even bring a little joy to the world." [Darrin M. McMahon] However, maybe writing a journal can be the pursuit with which you distract yourself into happiness.

"The problem, he suggested, is that pretty much everybody suffers from a split personality. One self desperately wants to lose weight or quit smoking or run two miles a day or get up early to work. The other wants dessert or a cigarette, hates exercise or loves sleep....New Year's resolutions help the earlier self overrule the later one by raising the cost of straying." [From a column called 'Economic Scene.' by Virginia Postrel about Nobel prize winner Thomas C. Schelling.] Well resolution time is tomorrow or Sunday, but it is discouraging in a way to know that while you can dismiss other people's problems, you have to work on your own while fighting among yourself.

My problems pale when compared with those of others. I find that comforting. Really. But I have to keep repeating my mantra or else I worry about everything. It's not my problem.