Austin, TEXAS, December 11, 2005 — Years ago at an employer that will remain nameless (although they've been merged out of their name twice so it probably wouldn't make any difference) they had these things called 'attitude surveys.' We called them 'altitude' surveys. The implication, I guess, was just how far away from understanding us the big boys were or, perhaps, we were referring to being high on Shiner Bock and perhaps other substances all the time. They bought us a keg of Shiner every Friday and the consumption of it was a manly ritual indeed.

Anyway, I decided to do an attitude survey

I woke up about 6:30 and the bedroom door was closed and FFP and the dog gone. Now that is weird. They are always getting up while I snore and I don't hear them but FFP almost never shuts the door. Was he trying not to wake me up? I got up and went into the kitchen and got coffee and started reading the Austin American-Statesman. It's a crap newspaper, but I thought it was hilarious that I sat there and went through almost the whole thing when just yesterday I said I wouldn't torture myself trying to get through the newspapers or worry about reading edifying things. I was just enjoying reading the paper, drinking coffee. FFP suggested going back to bed, seemed shocked that I was up. Understandable. I was a little surly about it, though. He gets up early and probably woke me up and then he wonders why I'm up. He was standing there reading The New York Times. Maybe I was in his way? Maybe he wanted to go back to bed which he sometimes does but felt guilty if I was up? I kept reading the paper and drinking coffee because I was enjoying it. He said he was going to the gym in that case. But he didn't. He wandered around, started a laundry, went back upstairs. A little later I gathered up some papers from yesterday and yelled up to his office that I was going to the club.

I felt pretty good even though I got up earlier than I would have liked. I rode the bike for an hour reading about the Woolworth Building in NYC, martinis, Scotch and other such edifying subjects. I really do enjoy the papers when I don't look at it as a duty but rather a pleasure.

I promised yesterday not to worry about what I eat or whether I exercise. I was pretty tired and sweaty after the hour on the bike but I did some arm and chest exercises, pausing to read a little more and drink water here and there. FFP came into the gym after I'd been there a while. I left before him but he beat me home. I decided I knew a long way to drive home that would avoid all the construction. But, alas, they had closed Balcones, too, and you had to detour. Geez it is getting to be a real pain with all this endless construction. It spoiled my mood a little. Can't I drive home without a detour?

"I should have told you," said himself. He'd tried that route going to the club a few days ago after stopping at the dry cleaners.

He was getting out some leftover talapia to eat. I fixed myself a plate, adding some leftover vegies from my Houston's meal last night. The coffee machine announced it wanted cleaning and I started that process. FFP said we should cook up some salmon. I cut the giant filet I'd gotten at Costco into three sections and he started cooking part of it and we froze the rest. It was time for him to get ready to go to The Nutcracker one more time because it's a matinee today. I finished cooking the fish and put it away. Cold seared salmon with lemon and capers is great on a salad or we can reheat it later.

I folded all the laundry and FFP left. His mood didn't seem that good. Hard to say. I was in a good mood but couldn't decide what to do. I hadn't showered yet and it was almost one PM. I've had a workout, although not a great one. I've finished up a few household chores. I tried to call my dad and tell him his Christmas presents were here for him to give away. He wasn't home. I tortured myself trying to decide what to do. Should I track him down? Should I get cleaned up and go shopping for a few more gifts for Dad and the in-laws and a gift certificate I need to buy? Should I clean up the guest room which, in spite of the fact that I've thrown stuff away is piled up with stuff from my wrapping and gifts and sorting? Should I call a friend to see if they want to do something? My attitude was wavering between feeling good about the free time and feeling stressed about what to do. Entirely silly.

I decided to look through the cards that came yesterday and see if the addresses were correct in my database. I think I sent all these people a card but I'm not sure and I have resolved not to worry about it. We have gotten around twenty cards. I bet I sent almost two hundred. I like getting them and checking people's addresses in my database for accuracy. In the pile of cards was a birth announcement. I wondered whether I should send a gift for the arrival of my cousin's kid's kid. I think I have something that would make a good gift in the gift closet. Maybe I'll drop by the mailing place and get it wrapped and sent. Or not. Since I officially don't have to worry about presents, let's not do it about non-Christmas ones either.

I tried my dad again and he had gotten home and he said he was "reading and trying to fall asleep." I told him his shopping was done and he was relieved. He didn't much care what I'd purchased either, just that it was done. We agreed that we might go to water aerobics tomorrow 'if it was warm enough.' I said he could pick up the gifts. I mentally decided that if I did water aerobics I would come home after and meet him here and maybe have lunch or something. Maybe. I did resolve to spend some time with him. We have a jam-packed week in the evenings next week, however.

As I cleaned things off my desk my attitude improved even though I was still sweaty and itchy and needed a shower I should tidy up the house (especially the guest room) and maybe put out some decorations first. But what I did was finish the trashy book that my friend's niece wrote that is full of typos. I finished it. I don't know why I felt compelled to read it. Because it was interesting to see someone's idea of something worthy of vanity publishing? Then I had to finish it to see if she could somehow finish it in a way that would make me say that it was worth it. It wasn't really but I was happy reading it and I logged on to Rhapsody and listened to jazz while I finished it. Then, even though I knew I was going to get dirty cleaning the house up if I should do that (which I didn't) I went to the master suite, put on the cable TV jazz music channel and showered and groomed myself. I took my time, enjoying a long shower, taking my time.

I left FFP a note (he was still gone to the ballet) and went to Jerry's Artarama. I had a momentary bad feeling because it is near a mall. This didn't turn out to be a problem, however. I looked around. I don't do art, not really (except for some silly handmade cards) but I wanted to buy these calligraphy pens and some other cool brush pens I found. But I didn't because I'm not buying anything for myself during the holiday season if I can help it. (Also, like I said, I don't do art and don't really know calligraphy so it's silly.) I bought a friend a gift certificate.

I stopped on the way back at Half Price Books. Is it just me or is there less good stuff in the new Lamar store than was on Guadalupe? I finally picked some audio tapes for my father-in-law but I couldn't find anything else. I didn't even see anything I wanted to buy for myself. FFP called me and he was looking for a book but they didn't have it either.

So how was the altitude, er attitude, around here today? Just OK, I guess. I rather enjoyed indulging myself and using my Christmas resolutions as an excuse. I didn't take a new picture, however.