AUSTIN, Texas, November 20, 2005 — I woke up earlier but somehow fell back asleep and didn't wake up until about twenty after eight. I was in the middle of this dream: I was telling a guy I used to work with who was sort of a redneck that there was going to be a rule where all the houses had to have this white wrought iron park bench in front of them. We jumped up because it was late even though we knew that it was late enough that we probably wouldn't go to the club before the birthday brunch and early enough so that we had plenty of time to get ready. We made the bed and got coffee and flipped through the newspapers. I got showered and dressed for brunch. I worked a bit on my

journal and decided to cull through the old newspapers after FFP was asking about where to find a particular section from last week. I do this once in a while, going through the stack to see what I can quickly eliminate. (Sports, ads, Business Sections that look particularly dull, and the ones I realize I've actually already read.) Still I have a pretty good pile in my office. Perhaps when I go away for a few days for Thanksgiving I'll take them for reading material. Of course, if I go away for five nights, four days...yikes more papers pile up. (Like seventeen including the weeklies. Hmm...why do I have a problem with them piling up?) When we downsize, the papers will have to go out in a day or so after they come in. Just a couple of days is a pretty big stack.

I went back to my journal and my dad came and we talked over a cup of coffee before it was time to go to the brunch. He and I drove his van and FFP went to get his parents in his car. We managed to get everyone through the buffet happily and cut the cake we'd had the club make. FFP's dad managed to blow the three candles out the waiter lit up. (Why the waiter decided on three blue candles I don't know but it was adequate for the situation.) He doesn't see or hear that well and he has a little trouble walking but he is, after all, 95. He enjoyed his birthday (which we are actually celebrating early, it's on Thanksgiving this year). He is mentally sharp but his body is failing him. Still, he did saw up a thick limb in his yard the other day. And with a saw he says needs sharpening.

We took FFP's parents for a drive. (Dad said he was going home to take a nap.) We took them downtown. They marveled at Whole Foods Planet (my designation for the World Headquarters) and at many other buildings they hadn't seen. They don't get downtown too often. We took them home and went home ourselves. The food, the decongestant and the slow pace that the old folks set had made me sleepy. I got a cup of coffee, finished my journal, got another cup, and read the original story on which a new movie (Brokeback Mountain) is based from my The Complete New Yorker on DVD.

I finished the story and decided to sort through the stuff I'm going to give my great nephews a bit more. Some of the stuff is too advanced for them so I have to decide what to ship now and what to keep or ship to my niece and talk her into storing. (They have a basement.) FFP went to work out while I was doing that. He decided to make chicken and rice when he got home. I helped minimally. I drove to Walgreen's and got the pictures that I'd taken at the club (sent digitally to Snapfish and on to the machine at the store). We had the dinner and some wine. We watched a couple of TV shows. We even watched a few minutes of a sappy 'made for the holidays' movie. Only because we were waiting for a show to finish recording so we could watch it from the beginning however. Blech. I read some of the newspapers. I ate some soy chips. FFP made bananas with brown sugar and Amaretto and I had a little bit of it. (No ice cream. He can't eat it and we never keep it.) I felt stuffed. I'd eaten a good amount of food at the club buffet plus a piece of the birthday cake.

I realize that I only have one more day before I go away for a few days for Thanksgiving. Tomorrow I have to get ready to go. Shouldn't be too difficult. I just have to put together a few clothes and a few things that I'm taking to people. But still. When I didn't work, I managed to squeeze things like packing, mailing stuff, working out around eight or more hours of work. Now, it's a burden to get everything done? Ridiculous. Duty expands to fill time. I read somewhere that upgrading your lifestyle (say hiring household help) was a bad idea for retirement because then (1) you couldn't save as much because of the new expense; and (2) you upped what you would feel as necessary for your lifestyle in retirement. A double whammy. This is why we didn't buy German Luxury cars or a big house on a view lot. I am addicted to having a little household help, help with the big yard, eating out and a country club membership (albeit the littlest old club in Austin with no golf). But I've also become addicted to all the free time. That's really scary in case I run out of money and have to go back to work. And, of course, I'm addicted to keeping a daily journal which is cheap but time-consuming.

Well, for now, tonight I had to finally get to sleep. I'm in that part of the cycle where I stay up too late. Tomorrow, I decided, I'll get everything done that must be done before I go visit the relatives. Of course I will. You do what you must.