Staying Home

AUSTIN, Texas, Oct. 30, 2004 — Except for the gym at the club, which is virtual home, I stayed home all day. I could have enjoyed a couple of events in the Texas Book Festival. I could have enjoyed going out to see a movie, say Friday Night Lights. But I really enjoyed staying home. I know some of you readers depend on me going out to see things and reporting back these wonders. I do have a cache of weird photos from other ventures, of course. (I could have taken a picture of the now neat tiy part of my office but it wouldn't have been as interesting as monkey car. Which I think is the official car of Blue Genie which makes a lot of the weird stuff on roofs around town.)

We fixed and ate reasonably healthy meals. FFP watched multiple college football games with obvious delight.

I did small things to tidy up my work space. I made a thank you card and wrote in it. I posted a giveaway of some hobbyist magazines from my mom's house on Austin Freecyle. (It took four minutes for the first reply but then I only had two so far as I write this.) I did my lessons in the Visual Basic class. It is too elementary for me, of course, but I enjoy that. And there are things I don't know about the interface and the language. I say it's too elementary because I don't need a lot of explanation of what variables are and all that. Still I enjoy having some structure for learning something. I bought a book, too. But only because it included a version of the software and that was a way to get it cheap. But I may look at the book some, too. I downloaded the tutorials for it online.

The thing is: it takes time to do these things. I like having a lot of time.

Yeah, so today was a day when I gave myself permission to sit at home. To ponder whatever came into my head. For example, I was reading something on the exercise bike today that included the word 'banal' and I thought how, most of my life, I pronounced this word as
BANE-al rhyming with anal. Then I heard a lot of educated people say ba-NAL or ba-NAHL. I was confused and felt that pang of stupidity brought on by reading and rarely hearing some words and then stumbling over them in speech although there meaning was clear to me. Today, though, I took the time to look up the word. I had to laugh on reading the following in the American Heritage Dictionary.

The pronunciation of banal is not settled among educated speakers of American English. Sixty years ago, H.W. Fowler recommended the pronunciation BAN-al (rhyming with panel), but this pronunciation is now regarded as recondite by most Americans: it is preferred by only 2 percent of the Usage Panel. Other possibilities are BANE-al (rhyming with anal), preferred by 38 percent of the Panel; ba-NAL (rhyming with canal), preferred by 46 percent; and ba-NAHL (the last syllable rhyming with doll), preferred by 14 percent (this last pronunciation is more common in British English). Some panelists admit to being so vexed by the problem that they tend to avoid the word in conversation. Speakers can perhaps take comfort in knowing that any one of the last three pronunciations will have the support of a substantial minority, and that none of them is incorrect. When several pronunciations of a word are widely used, there is really no right or wrong one.

Of course, I had to look up recondite (abtruse, not easily understood). But I think I'll be using trite and unoriginal like some of those 'vexed panelists.'

So, yeah, I could have heard Joyce Carol Oates reading her new novel or heard a lecture about artist Julie Speed or heard Peter Bogdanovich talk about Hollywood. But it is pleasant to sit home and look up words and surf the WEB and study a programming language. Thinking about what I might create or write instead of studying the canon of literature, art, movies. Not that I don't spend a lot of time at home studying (or at least reading, watching, listening to) the work of others.

After FFP's football fest he suggested some TV and I decided to read some papers and do some video. We try watching some shows like Without a Trace and Law and Order but they are reruns we've seen. We try watching a DVD from Netflix but we don't like it. We watch a Third Watch I recorded on the DVR. We try watching SNL but after a funny political bit they have a rapper we can't abide. We watch that Tanner show thing a bit. It gets late. FFP goes to mess around with his computer. I watch the movie we didn't like to the end. He goes to bed and I sit up in bed and watch Salmonberries. I'd forgotten why I rented it. I knew I'd seen pans of it. I'd forgotten Percy Adlon did it. I liked it, actually. This is the first time I've watched any Netflix films in quite a while, what with film festivals and the new DVR.

Fell asleep knowing that my lost hour would be returned. And that I'd spend it reseting clocks. Thank goodness the computers and cable boxes reset themselves.

car on SoCo

Shopping

AUSTIN, Texas, Oct. 29, 2004 — The scenario was supposed to be: a good workout and getting the office in order. Well, a so-so workout and shopping. How about that?

SuRu was delighted when I suggested that shopping was a better plan. She likes to help me shop.

I did get to the club and I did exercise. I thought I was just leaving abruptly after just riding the bike but really in order to get ready for when SuRu was coming by and not rush (I hate to rush) it had to be done.

I had plenty of time for a shower and I continued clearing out the equipment for the old scanner and its companion computer before SuRu arrived.

We went to the Arboretum and had a Thundercloud Sub. SuRu had a two-fer coupon. We then went to Restoration Hardware and Pottery Barn. I hadn't seen anything in Restoration's catalog that got me, but I ended up buying some little porcelain snack plates with Camembert Labels for half price. For a gift, possibly. I have a huge collection of one off plates of this 'salad/dessert/snack' size that I use for serving hors d'oeuvres instead of paper. I also bought some King Leo soft peppermint sticks (just to eat, I like them) and a couple of things for the Christmas presents for my sister's family. (I'm giving them a small festive container of small gifts.) We also visited Pottery Barn. Nothing called out to me.

Then we did Crate and Barrel. Brand new to Austin, I predicted that they would be quite crowded. But shopping at two in the afternoon on a weekday is a lark. There were a lot of people but we got a good parking place. In their catalog I'd seen some Christmas dish towels that I wanted to get for my cousin's wife. It's a traditional present I give her for Thanksgiving which she graciously hosts. I also decided to buy her one of those silicon oven mits. In the catalog I'd seen festive Christmas bags with foil-wrapped chocolates. They also had, in the store, Santa Hats, that unzipped to reveal chocolates. I got these and I'm going to remove some of the candy and fill with the gifts for the Denver clan. Yes, I know. It's insane to shop for Christmas before Halloween. But, believe me, the stores were ready for me! I also got another small gift for the bags.

A last stop at World Market didn't turn up much. I did buy a couple of Jelly Belly candy dispensers for the little boys and a large bottle of capers on sale because, well, capers are a basic food group at our house.

That was about all the shopping I could handle. SuRu helped me cart the old computer equipment to storage when we got back. I then had to run out and get groceries. My list was chips, green onions and Halloween candy and 'some kind of flesh'. I ended up buying that as well as broccoli, carrots, radishes, salmon (the flesh, a bonus pack discounted to be cooked and eaten over several meals), salami, turkey bacon, a large block of sharp cheese (on sale) and some salad dressing.

Since I only give Christmas gifts to the family in Colorado, Dad, FFP's parents, FFP and one or two friends (on a more or less random basis if I see them and feel like it) I'm not far from having my Christmas shopping done. And, since we are sending Thanksgiving cards, I can sit back in a few weeks and watch the rest of the world go crazy with their rituals. And I'm going to have a clean office, too. And if you believe that well whatever.

We had a dinner and opera performance at UT, all in honor of our friends the Butlers who gave them so much money for their opera program that they got to invite several score of their closest friends to dine and see the UT opera performance of Eugene Onegin. We sat for dinner with some of the music staff. A great jazz pianist, Jeff Hellmer, and a tuba teacher and some others. The meal was supposed to have a Russian flair and included salmon. (Sure, when I just bought a giant slab for home consumption.)

We walked down to McCollough for the performance. It was pretty good for college stuff especially the orchestra and the soprano. I was dozy from the food and wine. In between dozing, though, the performance was fine. I'd never seen the piece. Only one person dies. I've never read the Pushkin novel either. I'm so uncultured.

We were home late and dispatched to bed pretty fast.

me and a toppled Lenin, 1993

Rain Out

AUSTIN, Texas, Oct. 28, 2004 — Rainouts evoke complicated feelings. Surely I wanted to play tennis? The cancellation of something yields a little free bit of time, something unexpected, like rolling the clock back.

I dawdled around the house until a little after nine. Someone called and said that the tennis might start late. I said I'd just go to the club and do something else if that was the case. A rogue shower seemed to have dumped on the area around the club. There were lots of puddles. The woman who had called me showed up in the parking lot and said we might start at ten. I went into the gym. I saw it start raining again, stop, start. Around ten, I noticed I had a phone message. The coach said only roster players would work out. But, I think, noone did.

I did some exercises and some bike. Then I went home to mess around with the old computer I'm decommissioning. I did some obvious cleanup things on the hard drive and then shut it down. Still unwilling to unwire and cart stuff off to storage, I took a shower. Can you be nostalgic about an old 200Mhz machine with WIN95 and a two gigabyte hard drive. I guess.

Snacks, showers, music, TV, scanning through tons of old pictures on my computer. Suddenly, it's time to go to an event. We were staying home, then going to first one event then another. I go along with FFP's desires. We are going to The Parade of Homes.

So, we park in a dirt parking smoothed out with mulch with a Jaguar and a lot of SUVs. We get a free drink and some cheese cube type fare and when we've polished that off start going through the houses. They all seem cramped to me. Maybe it is all the people wandering through. Because all these houses are expansive. All at least twice the size of ours. They are decorated, too. Dead animals in one. Nice art in another. Plasma screens abound. Toilets are mostly coffined in the masters although I see one neat solution: a curving wall that hides the throne without entombing it.

Before everyone decides to leave the cramped parking, we take off. At home we watch the shows I'm tiring of: CSI and Without a Trace. FFP is sleepy. As he dozes off I watch things I've recorded on the DVR. I'll tire of this toy in a day or two, I suspect.

for sale at Uncommon Objects on S. Congress

The Way It's Supposed to Be

AUSTIN, Texas, Oct. 27, 2004 — See...I'm supposed to be relaxed. Doing whatever I feel like. Not worrying about other people.

My dad called just before I was going to water aerobics to join him in a swim. He'd overslept and he had to be at church a little later.

But I already had on my bathing suit. So I just joined the class. I was late. I didn't worry about that either.

I went into the gym and changed into shorts and got a coffee. I read my book and sipped and then sipped on the bike. I did a few exercises. I went home.

My lunch date was for one o'clock. So I dawdled over my shower, had some cereal and yogurt and watched an episode of Northern Exposure that the DVR had recorded for me. Then I went downtown to my lunch a little early. As usual my (also retired) lunch buddy and I didn't worry about the time. After we'd eaten and talked and talked, I went to S. Congress. I had a walk up and down, shot some pictures, shopped a little. I allowed myself a leisurely look around in a thrift store, a place with 'fair return' imports, a Southwestern jewelry and art object place, a junk shop. It is a good stretch of street in which to observe some of Austin's most interesting characters. But I also encountered an appellate court judge with some college classmates having a reunion shopping extravaganza.

On my drive home, FFP called on the cell. People were calling about tennis. I called one back. I can play if I want. I'm the sub of all subs this year.

At home, I played around on my computer. FFP goes to a board meeting for the ballet. I fix myself some nachos and beer and settle in to watch a combination of the (it turns out) final game of the World Series and Educating Rita recommended by my friend Mags for the scenery at Trinity College, Dublin where we stayed on our vacation there.

FFP comes home and I eat some more (salad) and we watch the game and read. I go back to the movie on commercials. Except for the times I run outside and watch the earth's shadow creeping across the moon. Something happening in the real world. How about that?

This DVR thing could be bad. You could watch too much TV because you can now easily save The Simpsons, Northern Exposure and movies you happen across that sound good. But. I saved Who Wants to be a Millionaire and watched it in a very short time by fast forwarding to the questions and the answers.

I watch a CSI: New York after that. Yes, recorded. And fall asleep before I find out who killed the rapper. I could watch it again, of course, but I bet I don't.

Austin's New Skyscraper from the Warehouse District

The Gadget Blues

AUSTIN, Texas, Oct. 26, 2004 — Today I'm hoping that my life moves a little closer to being organized and the way I want it. I'm going to test out the scanner some more, change one of my digital set top deals for a DVR. When I'm happy with the scanner, I can move a lot of old equipment off my desk.

But first I go to the gym. When I get back the handy couple is here, painting the porch. That's cool. FFP tells me we have sold three sculptures that we'd had out with a dealer for a while. Ah-hah! We can get rid of the cheap pedestals that they were on. We were going to put them on the curb since our bulky item pickup is this week. But the handyman takes them. Hate to have to clean out his place.

I fool around with the scanner. I find the documentation for the slide and film gadget but only by going to the WEB site.

I get showered and meet SuRu at Koreana for lunch. Then we go to Dad's. We pack up some knickknacks although I have no idea what we will ultimately do with the stuff. I take some miniature enthusiast magazines with the idea that I'll freecycle them and, failing that, just recycle them.

On my way to meet SuRu I went to Time Warner and exchanged the converter. I wonder how good an idea the DVR is and how much trouble it will be to get it to work.

We don't exert ourselves too much at Dad's. Just looking through stuff, determined to get rid of something. By packing some of it up we are hoping to figure out what to do with it one day. It's sad. Before rush hour, I go home.

The maid is at our house. She is finally out of our bedroom. I decide to try the DVR there even though I took the converter out of my office so that, if it didn't work, we could still maybe watch in there. God, I hate gadgets. I leave the converter in there, stack the DVR on it and switch the cables. Anyway, the instructions say to call and get the box 'authorized.' So I hook it to the cable and power (but don't power it on as instructed) and do that by calling and pushing some buttons. Then it says to wait until the clock comes on. That happens. So I put the remote together and power it on. Ah, but the catch is that, while I have cable, when I push anything for the DVR capability it says 'call to purchase DVR.' They've covered this, though. They say wait 'five or ten more minutes if you get an Unauthorized message.' Well, OK. I don't have any confidence, though. But wait I do. It doesn't start working. So I have to wait some more, on the phone with Muzak and then with a tech. Who has me boot the thing (pull out the power cord and replace it). It still doesn't work. He thinks he 'may have to send a technician.' Then he 'tries one more thing.' And it works. Of course, the intstructions are awful. But I'll figure it out. And sure enough I record some Simpsons for the heck of it. And try to set it up to record a show on while the game will be playing. I know in my heart that we don't have time to watch the stuff, even if we get it recorded. But. Still.

We heat and eat some leftovers and salad with some leftover wine and snack and sip (I switch to water, FFP to coffee) and read and doze through the game.

I watch the Law and Order: SVU episode I've recorded in bits and pieces, sometimes remembering to fast forward through the commercials. I decide I'm a little tired of rape and incest.

Another day resigns from our realm. Before I go to bed I sift through the TV schedule and set it up to record episodes of Northern Exposure that they play in the middle of the night and to record The Last Picture Show off a movie channel.

Chalow during a long ago walk

The Groove

AUSTIN, Texas, Oct. 25, 2004 — I'm hoping this is the week that I feel 'back in the groove.' I was not encouraged in that hope by waking up and finding it was almost eight. Water aerobics on Monday is a eight-thirty. I had been dreaming of going to water aerobics and then leaving to go to another city, one that exists only in my dreams. I was headed to water aerobics in my bathing suit but with dress shoes and socks instead of my slides. And I had this plastic thing on my head like we used to have for those old hairdryers back in the day of curlers. Then I was having the worst time getting off on this trip. I think I was trying to go to a funeral somewhere. I decided to go the next day but I was going to have to leave very, very early.

I get the bed made and coffee and check my e-mail and I'm only a minute or two late. After the class, I'm still sleepy. I get a coffee at the coffee bar in the gym. I ride the bike reading a stupid magazine. I do some ab work.

At home, I wash out my swimsuit, I eat, clean up a bit, surf a little on the computer. Have some more coffee.

One thing at a time, I tell myself. I check to see if the passport office has received my renewal materials from FedEx. Yes, Thursday. Interesting that there is first an entry 'delivery exception' with the comment 'future delivery requested.' Then eighteen minutes later it says 'delivered.' Ah, well, in a week or two I expect to get a new passport. I don't have a trip planned but it makes me nervous not to have a passport.

Then I decide to post some stuff I salvaged from my mom's house to give away on Freecycle. Several people will respond to pick it up. Amazing. I hope the one I chose gets it tomorrow. That will be another couple of cubic feet gone.

We have a meeting at five and plan to vote before that. We go over the League of Women Voter's stuff to see about all those little races like Sheriff and different judges and such. The electrician comes to cut off the power to the fallen tree lights so we can have someone take it apart. I talk to the electrician about finishing that up and doing a job inside. Dad comes by. He has taken his vacuum cleaner to some place to get it fixed and has stopped by to see the tree. He talks about the mischief that the deer have gotten into. I talk to the cable company about getting a DVR. (Note to cable company: your flyers say 'call this number' but getting the info you need through those menus is majorly frustrating. I understand you don't care if you piss me off when I call because I need service but I'm trying to buy more service.)

My new scanner arrives. I have time to unpack it and connect it but not install it. There isn't much written documentation but I look it over on our way downtown. We do stop and vote at Randall's. There isn't a line. So we have time to stop at a Used and Rare bookshop on 12th and browse around. Miraculously we don't buy anything. The guy says he will have a 25 per cent off sale this weekend for the Book Festival.

We go to our meeting. It is over around six and we put our stuff in the car, move the car, go to Cedar Street. Our buddy Kevin has a band playing jazz. We have some drinks and FFP gets takeout from Malaga's Tapas to snack on. I really like the way this band of Kevin's is configured and the arrangements they are playing.

Before nine, we are home. I install the scanner. The documentation and interface suck. But the thing does work. I'll figure it out and I'm going to regain nine or more square feet of desk space.

We watch some TV, I read a little, I fiddle with the scanner. That fiddling keeps me up too late.

weaving...from design to cloth

Pleasantly Diverting

AUSTIN, Texas, Oct. 24, 2004 — It was a day of pleasant diversions. I didn't stay in bed all that late but I lazed around with coffee and computer after getting up. I got to the club in time not to be too rushed. I did sort of bolt my cereal and run through the shower but we were still five minutes early for our event.

We went to the Blanton Museum at UT for a guided tour. The docent showed us some of the modern paintings in a show and talked about some of the Baroque and Renaissance ones upstairs. Sure, you can fly to New York City and pay $20 to get into MOMA (well, in a few weeks you can when they reopen in Manhattan) but you can also see some stuff for free right here in River City. We enjoyed it.

We cruised through BookStop after that without buying a thing. But we went into Gap and bought a pair of black pants (me) and a couple of shirts (FFP). We didn't, strictly speaking, need them. But we liked them.

Then we went to Central Market. We got a few vegies, some crackers, some sushi and some White Mountain Hot Tofu Dip and No Egg Salad and some vegetarian barbeque. We considered a few other things like beer but didn't bite.

At home, I ate again and fiddled with my computer. I decided to read my book. Sports poured out of the bedroom TV while I did. I finished it. Some friends were supposed to come over. So, somewhere in there, I carted most of the unread papers to my long-suffering office.

When we got home this afternoon there was a message about substituting in a tennis match tomorrow. But it was at Lost Creek. I don't like driving that far. I didn't return the call.

Our friends did, finally, drop by and stayed pretty long. We served impromptu snacks and wine. We watched the baseball game.

Chalow surveys her domain with downed tree

Lazy

AUSTIN, Texas, Oct. 23, 2004 — It's probably the rain overnight. Or the three drinks I told myself were dissipated during the some blocks walks between having them. But I sleep late. Around three in the morning I've been up to let the dog out (she was pacing around our bed). It was pouring straight down. I was aware of some thunder. At eight I'm still in bed, muttering to myself, "five more minutes." I get up shortly after that because I really want some coffee. I put on a bathrobe and go in and push the Capresso to dispense the magic go juice. I'm looking at the paper. I think it's Sunday but, of course, it isn't.

I spend some time in front of my computer. Doing various things. Finishing up the journal, writing an e-mail, reading other people's journals, looking at a lesson for the online class I'm taking in Visual Basic. I think FFP is already gone to the club, but he's really upstairs doing something. Still, he gets off to a workout before I do. Yeah, we take two cars. Shameful. I do a pretty long workout. I think I'm gaining weight. I need to step it up a little. FFP leaves the club well before I do. He stops at the grocery store on the way home.

When I get home, he has heated some leftover broiled chicken in some canned 'diced and spiced' tomatoes. It is pretty tasty and he's left enough for my lunch (with a salad and banana added to it).

After lunch, I clean up the kitchen. Then he cooks some fish he bought that we will eat leftover. While he's washing out the pan he watches the dead tree in the backyard topple over. When this tree died, I voted for completely removing it. He opted to remove the top because the tree had a spot light in it. He grew some trumpet vines on it that looked pretty good but it was still, well, sort of white trash city to me. It was just a matter of time. Now we will have to get the electrician to deal with the wiring and the yard guys to deal with the rest of the tree. It's always something.

Going out to look at the tree triggered a little flurry of outside chores. I put some poison on a fire ant hill, FFP shot some spray at wasps nesting in the trumpet player sculpture and cut down some volunteer trees in a bed.

FFP showered up and went off to buy a combo DVD/VCR player for his office to replace the VCR. I worked on one of my inter-LAN backups (from FFP's machine to mine) that had inexplicably stopped working. I checked the bookkeeper's machine, too.

I went back in my office and moved a few more things around. I wanted to boot my machine but I had to wait for the backup to it to complete. I wanted to boot in order to put in a USB hub in anticipation of receiving the scanner. I actually have a slot for it but I thought it would be nice to have additional slots in case I needed them. Supposedly my scanner is on the FedEx truck. I have cleared a little bit of desk space for it. Initially I will have more, not less, space. Because until the new scanner has proved that it can take over, I will have it in addition to a WIN95 machine with monitor, keyboard, mouse, old (huge) scanner, Jaz drive and speakers. I really only use it to scan and to look up words in a CD dictionary I have. (I often use an online one instead.) I used to use the Jaz drive and it is still hooked up because it is SCSI and it is in a chain with the scanner. There are huge bulky different size SCSI cables connecting everything. I'll probably put the keyboard and monitor and all out to pasture. If I want to hookup another CPU I have a KVM already set up for the monitor and keyboard I normally use so that I can quickly hook up another one. There were other things I did on this old machine. Sometimes I'd use an old FTP program which I imagine I'll just give up. I had my cradle for my ancient Palm III on there but I moved it to the XP machine. Why do we spend so much time backing up, upgrading, evolving our computing environment and so little time actually doing anything with it? Ah, well. I imagine myself having desk space if I can get this old computer and scanner off the desk. A a little 'charging station' with all my camera battery and phone chargers all neatly in one place. I know the empty surface will simply attract piles but a girl can hope, can't she?

FFP comes back and I help him briefly replace his VCR with the VCR/DVD combo and his backup is finished so I decide to boot my machine and put the hub on. (It may be that I could do this without shutting down, but I'm not going to do it. Because my machine has been having that sort of unexplained slowdown for a little while that is sometimes fixed by booting. Or not.

Finally I boot and mess around with the connections. In the process I knock out the laser printer's parallel cable and have to ponder the mess of connectors and power cords and converters behind my monitor. I don't really know how I can make it neater. Really. Oh, well, maybe I do but it's so much trouble. I'm ready for my new scanner to arrive. The tracking says it's on the truck for delivery. But at 5:25, I've seen no sign of it. Hrmmph.

Finally, I get ready for the event we are going to attend tonight. FFP is a little surly about it. I agreed to it to visit with our friends Jon and Marie. Marie is performing. The event is the Austin Policeman's Benevolent Association. Jon is an ex-cop. But...there is a UT football game on TV. But we go. I have a drink and talk to people while FFP sneaks down to the (Hilton) hotel bar for a look at the game. We suffer through politicians and rubber chicken only to have some guy announce the game score. That makes FFP extra surly. I enjoyed the pipe and drum band, though. Who knew Austin's finest had such a good one.

We go home and FFP watches his tape of the football game. He is upset that he knows how it comes out but he has to figure out how UT scored so much. "Maybe the defense," I speculate. But I go in the bedroom and snack while reading a little and watching a bad Helena Bonham-Carter and Paul Bettany movie. I say it was bad...I only watched a little. I won't comment in the watching section. It was called The Heart of Me. There are so many movies out there. And it's puzzling sometimes why people work hard at them.

We go to sleep. We probably won't go to a Policeman's Ball again. But you never know. FFP said it was good to stay on the mayor's good side. But, of course, Will and Anne Elizabeth were gone as soon as he did his presentation. I did learn that the homicide rate in Austin is very, very low. That it is about a fourth of the national average or something. So if you want murder, you have to go to New Orleans. We were thinking about doing that. Not for the murder, of course. Not for the gambling or the hurricanes. Maybe for a little jazz and some good food and shopping Royal Street and beignets. But I digress.

it was inevitable

Some Days I Feel Good About It

AUSTIN, Texas, Oct. 22, 2004 — I got up and fooled around with the computer until time for my tennis event. Billed as a 'play day' it was just casual tennis. I knew the people would be better than I am. I just set a goal to win some games. We each played with the others in the foursome for doubles. I won games, gave everyone a run for it and I won when I played with the better player. I felt so good about it that I had the guys in the pro shop regrip my racket. The thing is, it's noon, I haven't done a damn thing but play tennis and I didn't care! That's a victory of some sort. Still, I'm not going all country club on you. The racket is ten years old, at least and I still play in ancient shorts and (today) a white polo given to me by some technology company that my company was trying to do a deal with back when I worked. I always have some good shoes and socks, though. Essential since tennis takes a toll on the feet in direct proportion to your weight!

At home I fixed some lunch and cleaned up the kitchen and read some papers. Dad came over and I finished up straightening out something for him with his finances that involved going online and using the phone. I changed a light bulb in the garage and tidied up some more stuff that was moved out of the way of the painting. I tossed some old dog collars and an old pan in the garbage. Throwing a few things in the garbage does wonders for me sometimes. Still lots of crap to go through and clean up out there.

I tried to call the cable company about getting a DVR but when I'd made my way through some menus, they wanted the account number and I didn't have it. I decided to shower up and then figure out what to do with the time before we went out tonight. Then I thought about the laundry FFP had said he'd start this morning. So I changed the wash into the dryer and put in some more because he'd forgotten about it since starting it. Then I decided what the heck, I'd just keep trying to 'accomplish things' and take my shower at the last minute before we go out.

I don't know where my time goes, but I do know that I do e-mails to people...answering one from SuRu, telling the gal I wrote about in The West Austin News that her article is out, going back and forth with a friend until we settle on a lunch date and place for next week. I fold a load of the laundry, sort some pictures I got from Snapfish (some to give to Dad, some to keep, some to send to Denver). I decide to work on the family budget mainly because there are some receipts sitting here in my way and I want to get them out of sight.

Somewhere in there I scanned something for FFP and forgot no less than three times what he wanted it named. And also did ask if he wanted it in B&W. I just couldn't seem to focus today.

At some point I went into the kitchen for something and then couldn't resist just having a snack and reading some papers.

We talked to our good friend Deb, carefully telling her what we planned to do this evening, to get her to go along. She said she'd be by at 6:30 so I timed getting a shower to that. Then she called while we were grooming and said she was too tired.

FFP and I parked at 219 West with the warehouse district valet. We talked to the League of Women Voters people and got one of their guides. Then we sat outside and had a drink, watching people go by on their way to a Friday night.

We finished our drinks and walked over to Roy's. Our friend Kevin and a group were playing. We had dinner and a drink here, including dessert, a rare thing for us.

Then we walked to Four Seasons and had a drink and listened to our friend Rebecca. We bought her a drink on her break and then we walked back to the warehouse district and got our car. As we drove home we saw hoards of young people just starting their evenings. Not us. We were home by 10:30 as if we had a curfew. And asleep soon. A thunderstorm roared up in the night and sleep came.

and she's suprised she has back problems

Beating the Crowds

AUSTIN, Texas, Oct. 21, 2004 — I needed to get up early and go workout before my hairuct. But I didn't. But I was first in line to get a haircut. Three men pulled into the parking lot before the barber but after me. Then I goofed off at home, messing about with stuff on the computer and the things piled in front of it. Finally, some time after noon I went to the gym. It wasn't very busy. That's the advantage of the gym this time of day. I might have finished my routine except that some trainer had made off with a piece of equipment and this was all the excuse I needed to go home. And eat. I nibbled and nibbled, reading stuff in the paper. The mail came. My registration sticker was in the mail. So I took the time to put it in the windshield before it got lost.

I nibbled some more. FFP had run the dishwasher, go I put up the dishes. I cleaned up after myself in the kitchen.

And, somehow, it's three o'clock. Where does the time go?

Well, I wasted some more time fiddling with this and that and soon it was time to get a shower and go to the closing of the film festival. Soon we are grabbing seats for a premiere (I say 'a' because I don't think it's 'ther') of The Life and Death of Peter Sellers. There is free beer, that's goodness. Free popcorn, too. After the movie we go home. On the way, on the car radio, we hear the Astros falling apart in the seventh game of their playoff.

We watch the end, I read some papers. Bed. Another day when I just didn't know what happened to my time.

my dad, photographed by his great grandson, John William ("Jack") Lang

Problems of Western Civilization

AUSTIN, Texas, Oct. 20, 2004 — I wake up and realize I've been dreaming about pedophiles. It was that documentary from last night, no doubt. Geez. Weird stuff.

I get ready to go to the water aerobics class. That's all the exercise I'm going to do today I've decided. FFP calls from the club. He left his wallet here. I take it to him and go to water class. I chat with Dad and the ladies about travel and jokes and food.

I go straight home and get showered and dressed. Dad is coming by a little after eleven to take me, his friend Maja and her sister visiting from Iceland to lunch. I have time to go to the vet and get some pills for the dog. The lunch is nice and leisurely. After lunch, I try to straighten up and take care of some things. I'm going to take this course online and I need some software for it. I'm fooling around with that. I'm downloading some free software. In an effort to clean up the small area in front of my monitor, I finish my passport application. In order to finish it, I go upstairs to write a check and get a FedEx envelope. I make some folders for stuff to get organized. While I'm upstairs I get amounts of other checks for the family budget. So it goes. I take the FedEx envelope to the drop box over on 35th and swing back by Central Market and pick up some chips and yogurt and hot tofu dip. The store is in this endless disarray of remodeling and moving stuff around but I get a parking place up front, find everything, get through express lane quickly.

The handyman has installed a new disposal. I have yogurt (and the brand I like I might add). My passport stuff is wending its way through the system. Problems of Western Civilization solved.

I go home and eat and we go to the Arbor. FFP is watching the Astros and St. Louis game on the TV, then listening on the radio as we drive. We get to the movies and SuRu is waiting for us. FFP really wants to see the games. He decides to bail and SuRu agrees to bring me home. We watch the movie and she drops me off. The Sox and Yankees are still playing. I settle in with a beer and papers to watch that.

It's over. The Sox did it. I go to sleep.

a family in the pumpkin patch

Endorphins

AUSTIN, Texas, Oct. 19, 2004 — I awake in a fog. I want to sleep some more. And I do, it, too. Then I make myself get up, make the bed, get dressed for a workout. By 8:30 I'm in the parking lot at the club. I take my time and really do most of the workout I feel I should do. I get home and goof around on my computer. I've made a lunch date with SuRu but for late, for 12:45. I decide to eat some cereal and yogurt, discover that I didn't get home from the grocery store with my second choice yogurt, the Dannon. Then, while cleaning up the kitchen counter, I break a glass and after I think I've fished out all the glass, I try the garbage disposal. It doesn't work. It makes a hum. I stop it and fish around. I find a tiny piece of glass but the thing still doesn't work. Damn.

However. I seem to have gotten a hit of endorphins. So missing yogurt, broken garbage disposal. No problem. I tell FFP about the disposal and he says he will find someone to fixit. And I'll buy some new yogurt. I've read that the whole endorphin thing is a hoax. That it doesn't really make people feel good like a drug. I don't know, though. I'm not so sure.

I get a shower. I get dressed. I pick the pair of pants hanging leftmost in the closet to put on. Sometimes, I review my wardrobe this way to see if there is anything I really don't like to wear and get rid of it. Silly? Yep. It also keeps me from wearing the same clothes over and over.

I fool around at my desk, updating the family calendar and ordering tickets to some stuff, ordering some stuff online. I have that overwhelmed feeling. So much I want to do. So hard to get started on anything. Going through the pile of junk in front of my monitor has yielded up these little tasks.

Yeah, overwhelmed or not, breaking and losing things or not, I feel good. I live in a house where I go to take a shower in the master bath and notice that FFP has put some lovely flowers on the vanity counter. Is this the good life or what?

SuRu comes over and, observing the ultimate mess in my office, says, "I thought we'd made progress here but now I don't know."

"In my head, I've made progress," I said.
"That stack of books is going in a box as soon as I go get one out of storage. The books are in the database and everything. I know what I'm going to label the box"

We went to lunch. This new Japanese place called Banzai. It's sort of fast food. You order at a counter and they bring it out. But my Tofu Don was in a nice bowl. Tasty. I'll be going back to this place. The polished chop sticks, too. And inexpensive.

After lunch we went to Precision and I got some passport pictures. They are awful but that look like me. Go figure. In fact, they look a lot like me after a ten hour flight so that will work I suppose. Now to fill out the forms and send my old passport, the form, the pictures and a check. I think I'll FEDEX it so I can track it. They do have an address to send if you don't want to use the U.S. mail. One hates to let go of one's passport to be lost in the mail! Anyway, did you know they return your old passport? Yep. They do. It's a nice souvenir and, as they say, 'proof of U.S. citizenship' although you can't travel with it. I wonder how many passports I've had before this one. It seems I might have saved the old ones but I wouldn't know where.

We also looked at scanners at Precision. They weren't real helpful. I went home and researched the issue again and decided to buy a scanner for $118.95 online. It has free shipping and has an slide adaptor and Digital Ice. The Microtek 320i. This is an almost disposable price. They even throw in a cable. It's USB 2.0. Of course, I hope I like the thing. I liked the features and it had good reviews.

Forrest went out somewhere and so I fooled with his computer (updating the OS, fixing a backup) and the bookkeeper's (rebooting to fix something, making an extra QuickBooks backup) and this all took longer than I thought it would because things were weird as usual.

We decided to go to a 9PM movie for the film fest so I tried to cook some salmon but I didn't seem to do that good a job of it. We ate, though, and I cleaned up. We watched a little baseball and FFP took a phone call and it was time to go to the movies. It was late, of course, when we got back. So it wasn't long until we were asleep.

small boys and a very large train

Changes in Plans

AUSTIN, Texas, Oct. 18, 2004 — I'm not real sure what my plan was but it seems to have changed. I was going to do water aerobics and then maybe a workout. Someone called last night and wanted me to play tennis so I did that instead. The team had a warmup forty-five minutes before the warmup with the teams. Although I won in two (7-6, 6-2, I think) it took two hours. The team played slow and there was a break for wrapping one gal's ankle. I came back, ate lunch and showered and brushed my teeth. I had a teeth-cleaning appointment. I hate going to the dentist and hearing the lecture about how poorly I take care of my teeth. No matter how good I think I'm doing. And, of course, you pay a lot of money to have them smash around getting the plague off which proves your dental hygiene is wanting. Anyway. I sit around dreading going while FFP and I are figuring out what movies to see tonight in the Austin Film Festival. I decide I'll pick up a few groceries after the dentist. (Like maybe some sugary candy. Just kidding.) So I make a grocery list.

• salad stuff
• bananas
• other fruit
• Citrucil (sugar-free) (for Forrest)
• yogurt (nonfat White Mountain which probably means I won't be able to get it at Randall's)

Yes, this is the utter excitement my life has been reduced to. My grocery list is dull. Oh, maybe I should add some rat poison. That makes things more interesting. After months of no apparent activity, the critters took a bait the other day. And we only had one bait left. So add rat poison.

I ponder how I got so dull. And what I can do about it. I look up a word I found in a book I've been reading for months in the bathroom. [The word is filioque if you must know. It means the theory that the Holy Ghost precedes from the father as well as the son. I never have understood all that controversy about the trinity. But then my knowledge of religions is very shaky.]

So, off I go to the dentist, with dread. Will I feel better after I get that out of the way?

Not really. First, it is expensive to get xrays and get your teeth cleaned anymore. Secondly, I am just not in that good a mood. How could getting my teeth cleaned help?

I stop at the grocery store. I settle for a lesser yogurt so I don't have to go to Central Market or Whole Foods. And also to have something in my cart besides Citrucil, Rat Poison and a few items of produce, which just makes me feel like a weirdo. I throw in some rice cakes, too. They turn out to not taste that great but they are two for the price of one.

At home, I update our personal calendar and shake my head looking at the crap piled up in front of my monitor asking for my attention. Where does my time go? I guess I'll...read and then go watch some movies.

I am dozing with one of the playoff games going, today's American-Statesman Life and Arts section in my hand with a half-finished crossword when FFP thinks it's time to go to the movies. We are way early at the Hideout after scoring a parking place on 5th easily when someone pulls out. I get a beer and he gets some iced coffee and we read. We watch the movie. We could have stayed for a shorts program but I'm sleepy. I don't know why I'm so tired.

At home, we watch the Astros win, read a little, fall asleep.

Jack in the pumpkin patch

Making a Movie

AUSTIN, Texas, Oct. 17, 2004 — I think, probably, that I don't make a movie because I'm just as happy with the movies in my head. And a WEB page, of course.

Listening to William Broyles and Bill Witliff talk about getting scripts produced, hearing questions from aspiring filmmakers, hearing the makers of Chyrstal talk about getting projects done. Well, you just know. People do these things because they just must. It is painful and hard.

FFP and I are lucky. We are dabbling retirees. We might write a screenplay but we don't really care if we ever make a movie.

We worked out this morning for a little while. I rode over there with FFP so I was on his schedule. We skipped all but the last five minutes of the first panel time to do that. That and drink coffee and have some breakfast. We heard a panel, had some pizza at Schlotzsky's, watched a shorts program at the Hideout theater.

We went home to let the dog out and goof around, snack and catch fragments of sporting events. Then back to the Bob Bullock for some another film, a documentary by a local guy about blackjack card counting. It's OK, but gambling kind of bores me even when the probabilities come in. I mean...if you succeed at card counting the casinos may get you arrested, albeit on false pretenses, or just beat the crap out of you. How fun is that? The guy got his film made, though, with the help of his friends. He can't even remember why he was interested now. The movie makes me feel sad about gambling. We don't stay to see a movie about the media reporting of the WMD in Iraq issue. I'm feeling sad enough for gamblers, the counters who might win and the countless sad sacks who, together, will lose.

We go home. We watch some stuff FFP taped. We watch the end of the long, long NY/Sox game. We go to sleep.

Jack the pumpkin

An Entire Day Downtown

AUSTIN, Texas, Oct. 16, 2004 — Seemed like a good idea at the time. We don't get up until late. So we don't work out. Instead we shower up and get coffee and throw some books in a backpack and go downtown and snag a parking place on Fifth Street where we will leave the car all day. We go to a seminar on Digital Film Making. It is interesting. Then we wander to Seattle's Best for a coffee and snack. Then we walk through Tesoros Trading Company. Then we go to the Four Seasons. We are way early for lunch. But some of the folks are already there so we go snag the table in the cafe and start talking. We are having lunch with two of the ballet dancers, their parents and a cousin of one and the cousin's boyfriend. I enjoy talking to the folks about their hometowns (Chicago, Bay Area CA) and business and the kids' ballet careers and the ballet.

We go back to the Driskill We go late into a seminar on comedy writing. A friend of ours is one of the panelists. After that we just stay in the room, waiting for Garry Shandling's interview. I was never a huge devoted fan of his TV although I would occasionally find myself drawn into them. The interview is good, with lots of jokes, with Turk Pipkin interviewing.

After this we wander around considering where to have dinner. (Yeah, we aren't actually hungry but that never stops us.) We finally settle in at the bar at Roaring Fork in the Stephen F. Austin and watch the end of the UT football game while eating some apps. I drink a Shiner Bock.

We queue up to see a movie called Chrystal that has Billy Bob Thornton. The writer/director/actor and a couple of other actors are there. Not Billy Bob, though. Excellent movie. Hope it gets distributed so other people can see it.

We could watch another movie. But we go home. Chalow has been outside all day long. We need to see about her. We are weary.

At home we are soon in bed. We will sleep too late again, though.

Jack and the Jack O' Lantern

Playing Hooky

AUSTIN, Texas, Oct. 15, 2004 — Film festival is more or less out for the evening but we could go to some panels or attend a barbeque party before the ballet or a late-night party after the ballet.

First we go to the gym. I have an OK exercise. When we get home, FFP says he needs to work. I say that I want to work on my writing. And so it is that I play hooky from a fun thing to sit in my office in jeans and shower shoes, catching myself up on what I've done and eaten and such. The handy couple were here finishing up painting some in the garage and I spent a little time tidying up the stuff they'd moved out of the way. I broiled chicken for lunch. I cleaned up the kitchen here and there. I read a few sections of newspaper. I watched an old Errol Flynn movie on TV.

We got ready and went way early for the ballet. We talked to people, enjoyed Peter Pan very much. After the performance at the backstage party I was talking to a neighbor of mine, a seventy-something gay man. "I would like to try the flying," he said, referring to Peter, Wendy and the boys taking flight on the harnesses. "I would like to never grow old," I said. I told the stage manager, a friend, who was raving about the great music that I would like the music for my funeral. "It is so 'never grow up,' the music. I love that." She and the others within earshot thought this was a great idea.

We are in bed, late. We will not be up as early as we would like tomorrow.

bat boy poses

What Am I Doing Here?

AUSTIN, Texas, Oct. 14, 2004 — Film festival seminars start today. In the afternoon. Morning. Get things done? When I come home from the gym after a not that great workout, the handy people (Forrest's cousin and wife) are busy getting ready to do some painting and fixing that Forrest has ordered up. Makes me feel guilty for sitting in my office after my shower, not doing much. But it doesn't goad me into action.

Around noon we head downtown and valet park at the SFA. We are way early for the first seminar. Someone FFP interviewed is on the panel. We are interested but not because we think we will be writing a script any time soon. It's clear that one way to succeed as a writer is to not have anything else you feel like you can do. One fellow says that his parents were writers. "I thought that when adults went to work they went into the other room and typed." How must that feel? Other people are there because they aspire to write screenplays, have done some, most of them. We are just hanging out. Oh, we might write one.  It would be interesting to do. We stop in Mike's Pub and then go to another session.

We go home and check on the dog. Come back downtown and park. We peak in at one of the parties but only stay three seconds. We decide to go to 219 W and eat. It's loud with a meeting of some kind but there are seats and we eat and drink. Then we go to the Hideout. We are way early for the movie. We listen to the last song of the Happy Hour from some young girl singer. We get some drinks. Finally the Shorts program starts. We enjoy it although the Hideout has uncomfortable seats. Then we wait for the next movie. It's really good, we think. It's called Second Best and it stars Joe Pantoliano.

It's late. We walk back to our car. Night life bubbles around us. We aren't usually out late enough to see it. It's amazing. FFP tells me that he went on one of the Saturdays while I was gone to a place we pass called The Foundation. He says there must have been a thousand people there. Numbingly loud. Much, much drinking. Not our scene anymore.

An old train at the Colorado Train Museum

Busy?

AUSTIN, Texas, Oct. 13, 2004 — It's funny how busy you can be doing nothing much. I am up and off to water aerobics. I'm almost on time for the 8:15 start. Dad is there. After class he goes off to get a haircut. I do a little more in the gym and go home. I've agreed to a meet-up with two of my friends and Dad for lunch. This becomes a little "performance." My friend who works wants to move up the time. She has a meeting at 1PM. Well, no problem. I tell my friend to meet us at the restaurant. I call my other friend. I tell her to meet us at Dad's early. Then I go a little early and drive by the barber shop. Dad is still there! So I stop and tell him to meet at the restaurant and I go to meet my friend at his house since she isn't answering her mobile. I collect her and when I get to the restaurant Dad is there. We relax. The friend who has to work isn't there but it's up to her now. She arrives quickly and we eat quickly and talk. Dad takes my one friend to her car. I go shop at Bed Bath and Beyond and Michael's. I end up buying some shadow boxes on sale for a little project or two I have in mind. Mostly I decide not to buy things or just to thing about until later.

At home, I piddle. Then it's time to go to the Food and Film benefit. We go early and have a drink downtown. The movie before the food and drink is good. We talk to people, enjoy the movie. We go for the food and drink, talk to more people. There is an after party later. But we go home.

Myself, taken by my four-year-old great nephew

Back to It

AUSTIN, Texas, Oct. 12, 2004 — This is going to be the day when I catch up on everything, get my life reorganized, get back into the rhythm of going to the gym. Yeah. Well.

I do get to the gym. I can't get myself to do too much there, however. I feel shaky and out of sorts. I do get the laundry done. The maid comes and makes me feel displaced as usual.

I mostly get unpacked. I don't get the journal updated though I start. I think I'm going to have all evening. Get the journal updated, put everything in order, read the pile of papers. But. FFP says a young friend wants advice and wants to meet us for drinks. Fonda San Miguel sounds good to me. I eat and drink, of course.

At home I read a few papers. But I can hardly say that I'm back into it. That I'm getting my life sorted, orderly, back in tune. Nope.

Passing Time

AUSTIN, Texas, Oct. 11, 2004 — Funerals always give you that sense of passing time. This one does that especially. Everywhere there is evidence of change.

My aunt and I are up early. I get a shower. She makes coffee and toast and I go up to Dad's room and get him. Sure enough he's made coffee, is dressed and ready, watching the news. We sit and talk. Two of my aunt's daughters and a son-in-law come to go to Denver City. We drive the eighty miles in two cars. In Denver City we pull into a Dairy Queen and meet my aunt's granddaughter who has driven from Amarillo. We have some caffeine and bathroom at the Dairy Queen. My uncle Johnny used to gather here with his retired cronies for coffee of a morning.

We go to the church. The service is very personal. The preachers knew the man. The grandchildren sing, a capella and quite beautifully "Morning is Broken."

We go to the cemetery. After the service there we are standing around. I go to look at my cousin's stone. He died in a car accident in 1968. I haven't been in this cemetery since. He would be fifty-one now! His older brothers have gray hair. They have sons older than he was when he died. One has his name. I remember the funeral, thirty-six years ago. I was a young college kid. I brought along a Physics text for a course I would drop when we came to the funeral. This death was quite a shock to me. So much time has passed.

Dad is anxious to leave now, get on the road, get home. We have been standing apart. Several people come up and say, "We understand you aren't staying for lunch. We understand you are hitting the road now." We take a couple of the family who wouldn't fit in the family car back to the church. I insist he go inside and say goodbye to everyone. Then we drive. He says we will be home by six.

We do get home by 6:30. We stop twice. We get tired, weariness from yesterday adding up on us. We can't believe the traffic when we get to Austin, especially coming the other way, commuters going to the far-flung edges of our sprawl.

At home, FFP helps me get stuff out of the van and Dad goes off. Forrest suggest we eat out. I've stuff myself with road food but a real restaurant with just my husband and some wine is compelling. We go to 34th Street. At home I don't do too much good even at unpacking, leaving most of it for another day.

Jack eats ice cream

Driving, driving, driving

AUSTIN, Texas, Oct. 10, 2004 — It was an amazing piece of driving. We drove about 650 miles. We made three short stops. No wrong turns. We left at 6AM, only in Texas it was already seven. We arrived in downtown Odessa at my aunt's retirement apartment at 5:30. We ate snacks when we weren't driving. And sometimes when we were. We tried to keep our speed at the max, cranking down for all the little towns. In Littlefield a guy with a mullet haircut and a tank top nodded at us as if we were locals and he was being friendly. We tried to identify the bits of fur or feathers, flesh and bone that were to DOR (dead on road) of the day. One pile looks like two rabbits laid out together. In the last stretch, I sip a diet Coke with lime and nimble on Goldfish to stay alert.

My aunt has delayed dinner until we arrive. They are still serving in the dining room. We eat with her. She seems very glad to have us. I suggest a game and she wins every hand of SkipBo. I wonder about good strategies for this game. We retire early. When Dad goes to the car to get his things, he stumbles on the steps. He doesn't fall all the way and he seems OK but I worry. It creates a knot in the pit of my stomach. I go to sleep fitfully on my aunt's couch.

we found the way out!

Last Day

AUSTIN, Texas, Oct. 9, 2004 — I'm excited to be going on an outing with my niece, her husband and the kids. It's the right size group and with the parents along a good time will be had with the kids.

In other words: they do the tough stuff and I just kick back and enjoy taking pictures of the kids and things like that.

My sister drags my dad off on some outing of hers in his van, leaving her van (with kid seats in the back) for us so we can go with three adults and two kids. While I wait for them, I hold the ladder for my brother-in-law to cut some limbs. He is displacing from cleaning out the garage. I help pick up limbs.

My niece and husband come and we transfer the kids to the van and off we go. She has chosen a harvest fest that is free as opposed to one with a hefty admission charge. The free one is at this farm exhibit. There is a band, there are live pigs, chickens, sheep and such. There is a huge pumpkin patch and a hay bale maze for the kids. We have a good time. The kids have some apple cider and some carrot cake.

We go to downtown Littleton after that. It has achieved a little upscale lift with coffee shops and gift shops and stuff. We have lunch in a deli. The kids enjoy getting to pick their own sodas. Jeffy gets a Grape Gatorade. Jack enjoys making little rockets out of the paper cover on the straws. Jen drives Mike back to their house to go to work. We go to the grocery store and Jeff is asleep clutching the bat shirt like a blanket. Jack and I go shopping while Jen sits with him in the car. Jack behaves in the store. He doesn't ask for anything although it does wander off to look at a geegaw vending game and the Halloween paraphernalia.

We go back to my sister's. After a bit I make a salad and chop machined 'baby' carrots into even smaller strips for the kids. I cube some cheese for our trip tomorrow. My niece chicken fries some steak and we eat. Jen and the boys say goodbye. My sister wants to play Scrabble so we do it. One last nod to the ways we used to entertain ourselves. I put together my things to ready taking off tomorrow. My dad and I will drive to Odessa and stay with his sister then detour to Denver City to the funeral and then drive home from there.

picking a pumpkin is hard work

Stir Crazy

AUSTIN, Texas, Oct. 8, 2004 — I'm thinking we may get an outing worthy of driving to mountain country. But the gang is only capable of taking the kids to a local park for a picnic. I understand that. I didn't even get to do the whole outing because my sister tired of it and I had to take her to the bank.

I enjoyed the park, however. We ate a few simple snacks: chips, salsa, carrots, cheese cubes, fruit. I drank a V8. My sister drank one of the many ("I only drink one a day") Dr. Pepper's. The kids ran around like maniacs. I chased them or sat in the sun. We rescued them from falls and such.

Stuck back at my sister's and finished with my magazine, I walked a couple of miles to a grocery store, stopping in a GoodWill, finally buying a couple of magazines and a bag of candy that I ate like a naughty kid walking back.

I got back and read my new magazines, a travel one and a computer one. They were sort of boring, too, really. We had cocktail hour and waited for a friend sof my sister's to come by and cook some soup for dinner. They came and we ate the soup and talked. Thus ended a less than exciting day. The weather was nice, however.

At some point today my cell rang. It was my cousin Bob's wife. My cousin's Dad (my dad's brother-in-law), my Uncle Johnny was dead. Alzheimer's then various declines had taken him. Later I learn the service is 10AM Monday. In a little town in W. Texas where no one in the family lives anymore. Denver City. So the trip home will include a detour to the funeral.

Jeffy poses in the playscape

Simple Duties

AUSTIN, Texas, Oct. 7, 2004 — I don't expect much and the day doesn't disappoint. If you know what I mean.

I get up around 7:30 and goof off with coffee and the papers until around nine. I take a long walk, this time starting south but veering back west to come around to the same coffee shop the western route reveals. I almost learn my way around this neighborhood when I visit and then I forget again. Sigh. These housing developments are 'covenant protected' they announce on various entrance signs. Protected again imagination, I think. A few river rocks, a boulder, some half whiskey barrels. That's the limit.

I stop for coffee and a snack and read what passes for an alternative weekly. It seems naive in a way I can't but my finger on.

Back at my sister's I shower and change and start doing some laundry for Dad and I. I put some of the stuff my sister has sorted out into random spots in the basement, wondering when and if she will look at it again. I discourage from opening the last two since her grandsons will be visiting and she is having a meeting tonight here.

My niece brings the kids over, feeds them some lunch and puts the little one down for a nap. She does some activity with her older one making things from Playdough or something and then goes to the doctor. My sister entertains Jack a while and then I take him outside to play. I'm glad my niece doesn't park the kids in front of the TV but, of course, I'm not thrilled to have to be the one to play soccer and supervise tree climbing. But I do it. He is also entertained by taking pictures with my digital camera. Soon the little one awakes, crying and then their Mom comes back. My brother-in-law comes home, makes some dinner and they have their meeting. I retreat to their computer room and my dad retreats to the guest room.

Yeah, like I said...I didn't expect much from the day and it didn't disappoint. Tomorrow a picnic is planned, I believe. Maybe a trip to see some scenery. I won't expect much and it won't disappoint.

Jack's shot of his grandparents

A Dreary Day

AUSTIN, Texas, Oct. 6, 2004 — I wake up a few times as my brother-in-law and sister and dad move around. Dad is going to a meeting with my sister. My brother-in-law to work. I awake again and they are gone. I get up and fold up bed things, get dressed, have some coffee, tidy up a few things. Dad and Sarah come back. After a while, in spite of off and on rain I take off for a walk. This time I go north. There is a grocery store. I don't feel like any more coffee so I shop for some yogurt and nacho makings. I walk back (it's about a mile and a half) using the two bags for a little extra exercise.

I have a snack, read a bit, shower, dress, check e-mail, download pictures. One falls into a rhythm about it all. I bring in a few more boxes for my sister to go through and help her by putting things away here and there.

My sister, my dad and I go to my niece's house for dinner. We make nachos, the kids carve pumpkins (well, their dad does it with their 'help'). I have several beers. We have fish tacos. My niece is having this pre-mix Margarita stuff which she says makes her a better mother. Plus it makes the mystery back ache go away. Accompanied by intermittent fever, this pain is worrisome.

We go home as the kids decompose into bedtime monsters. Someone turns on CSIs so I watch. Then: sleep.

Jeff drives the train, without benefit of the quarter

A Children's Outing

AUSTIN, Texas, Oct. 5, 2004 — My niece and her husband both have to work. So they are going to drop the kids off. My other niece has agreed to go along so that we can take them for a outing. My dad is slow, my sister disabled. So we need my niece to go one-on-one with the boys.

The kids get dropped off. My other niece manages to get over. We load up and drive a good distance to a train museum. The kids see a model layout and then run around on tracks and train cars. They climb, ring bells. It isn't much, really, but they dig it.

Lunch time approaches. They want to go to "Donald's." The small one repeats 'chicken fries' over and over. I see Taco Bell, Burger King. Nope we drive on until we find a McDonald's with a playscape room. Dad and I eat in the other part of the restaurant. We have a Big Mac. I don't remember the last time I was in a McD's. France? Maybe. A decade ago? Could be. I think about people who eat this stuff all the time, about that movie Supersize Me. Ugh. We finish and go into the playscape. The kids play, climbing high in the inside of the thing. They have some of their food (chicken nuggests and fries) and play with GI Joe toys they got.

We finally load them up and take them to my sister's house. My niece gets the little one changed and takes him off to have a nap with her. The four-year-old helps his grandmother unpack the stuff we brought, plays with puzzles and toys. He gets great fun out of a plastic slinky.

The kids have done well in our care. Jeffy wakes up and his Aunt Lisa. My niece and her husband show up. The kids start decompressing and decomposing after having a pretty good day. Showing off for the parents? My niece decides they can watch a TV program.

Finally the whole bunch of us go off and eat at Buca di Beppo. The food is amazingly good. Eating McD for lunch can have that effect! The little guy keeps saying "I like it!"

Home again. Quiet. My brother-in-law insists on turning on the vice presidential debate and then doesn't watch it.

Off to sleep on the couch again.

my great nepwhews and I pose on a platform on a train car

My Sister's Pace

AUSTIN, Texas, Oct. 4, 2004 — My sister has a certain pace. A way of living. I couldn't do it for long. And I escape for a walk each day, too, if possible.

I walk this morning toward the west instead of the east. There is a coffee shop I like. I have a brief interlude reading a magazine there and having coffee and a bagel.

I have started unpacking the van and getting my sister to go through things from my mother's hobby supplies and collections. We mess around with that, I read a magazine.

My nieces come over. Their dad comes home. My sister goes to a meeting and the rest of us go eat at one of those cafeteria salad and other food things. My niece takes the boys home and then there is a evening of quiet, reading. I am getting over the boredom, adjusting to getting into my reading.

my niece and her kids

Denver Time

AUSTIN, Texas, Oct. 3, 2004 — Time to get in sync with Denver. Littleton rather. They are on Mountain Time. (The forgotten time zone I like to call it.) Their days start cool this time of year. It is in the forties outside when I get up. Their air is missing some of the oxygen we have in Austin.

My dad and my sister and brother-in-law go off to church. I walk to the shopping center for a bagel and coffee and walk back. Back is a little uphill. Where's my air? My sister and brother-in-law go off to a volunteer job at the miniature museum. I take the opportunity to do a few exercises, organize my clothes, take a shower, check my e-mail, work on the journal. I'm feeling more human now. Maybe I can enjoy playing with the rambunctious little boys this evening.

My sister had a few people over. One niece and family showed up. A few friends. My brother-in-law made a roast and potatoes and carrots. One friend brought some rolls. It was loud and crazy with the kids. I tried to watch a TV show when everyone was gone but my sister quickly let me know that watching something I wanted on TV was not acceptable. I tried reading. I fell asleep at a reasonable hour on the couch. With the TV playing something she wanted to watch.

It takes a bit to adjust to living with someone else's rules, in the middle of their traffic pattern with their friends and family. At least they haven't ruled out reading or using my computer or using theirs to get to my e-mail (although getting a dial-up connection through AOL will almost make you wish that they didn't allow it).

my Pez boy

Driving, driving and still more driving

AUSTIN, Texas, Oct. 2, 2004 — I am up at five thirty, making up my aunt's bed where she insisted I sleep. I wash my face, brush my teeth, and get dressed and wake her up. Dad joins us and she makes toast for breakfast and pulls out some cheese. She doesn't cook much, eating mostly the meals provided in the dining room. She's been living in this place a year. She seems to like it OK. Lately she hasn't been able to drive. It would send me up the wall.

At six-thirty Dad and I hit the road. It's dark so he drives the first shift. Dawn erupts as we head north, cutting a swath through W. Texas oil fields, cotton fields and crossing the area of nothingness. I take my turn at driving and get us to Dalhart. Dad takes over for the awful Dahlhart to Raton run. With the usual crosswinds and the landscape scarcely relieved by the occasional antelope, the one tree and the ancient dead volcanoes. We pause at the rest stop where we are warned of snakes. I take over at Raton and with one more stop carry us through to Littleton and family.

We are wasted. Eleven and a half hours of driving. Only the briefest of stops. We have a cocktail and visit with the family and have dinner. Finally I'm on the couch intent on getting some sleep.

gives one pause

Tackling the Unexpected

AUSTIN, Texas, Oct. 1, 2004 — Road trips. Dad pulls up at six in the morning. I carefully fit in the stuff I'm taking so that I can get to things like the snacks. And we are off. In the dark. Dad has chosen a route of small roads. He wins over my route you will get on Map Quest...which involves over a hundred miles of Interstate travel. No, we will travel on the Interstates for maybe twenty miles. But this is not a long day of driving.

We see dawn on the red granite around Lake Buchanan. We spy armadillo and skunk and rabbit road kill. I scan to various country stations as we lose one's signal. I have my breakfast on the run out of the cooler. Not long after noon we are in Odessa and I've found my way to the parking lot of the Retirement Apartments where my Aunt Dottie lives.

She welcomes us and invites us to join her for lunch. These places are designed to distract people from the exacting boredom of being old and/or physically hampered. The place is nice, really, although the relentless pastel decor would run me up to wall. There is an indoor pool, too small to actually swim in and a micro mini golf course. After lunch we see people playing games, see sign-up sheets for stuff like an excursion to the Family Dollar Store.

We play a game called Skip-Bo with my aunt in her apartment. At five we have a cocktail. At seven we go out and join her daughter and her husband and two of her kids for barbeque.

A little TV and then we go to sleep. I fall asleep fitfully even though I'm tired, aware of an early start and long drive tomorrow.

SoCo shopping