The Visible Woman...December 5, 2003

Catching up the online journal was time-consuming. I should have been doing other things.

I know I claimed in these pages a few days ago that I considered this a work of art. Maybe a bad one, but still one I cared about.

When I'm away for a few days or I fall down on the job and I do a bunch of days at once, I realize (a) how much time I waste on the thing; and (b) how hard it is to be fresh when I'm far from 'real time'; and (c) how quickly I forget.

So there are many questions.

Is it worth the time?
I must say that it seems more worth it when I look back at entries from a couple of years ago and realize I have captured something that (a) I might be able to use for a 'real' project; and (b) that I would hate to have lost. (In fact, I am sometimes shocked to realize that some intentionally vague reference to something that I wanted to not say directly is, upon rereading, incomprehensible to me. I actually don't remember the person or event obliquely referred to. Of course, I onl remember the specific things referred to in many cases because I wrote it down.) But in real time, it seems like a time waster. At best it seems like 'practice' writing (typing?) where I'm just trying to get my chops up for the performance that I never quite get around to executing. So...I just don't know. If I didn't do it, would I spend my time in some better way?

Should I try to create a 'page a day'
One always cheats a little in any case. I try to have the pictures not post-date the date (although they may pre-date it by any numbers of days or years). I try to capture the mood (not to mention the food) of the actual day. Sometimes the essay (and we use the term loosely) portion of the page is something I thought of and formed later but that seems to represent that day. Of course, any time you write, you are writing about the past or predicting the future. There really is no now, is there? Even timed and dated blogs can't create a present, in my opinion. I don't know why I'm so hung up on a 'page a day.' Many of my favorite journalers skip days often or occasionally. In fact, I don't have much time to read other people's journals...because I'm trying to do a 'page a day.'

Is it art? Is it anything that is worthwhile?
Well, I'm a firm believer in the maxim that art is simply what one chooses to identify as art. From there, it's up to the critics to decide and distinguish. The creator has had his day. [Ed. note: The author is a great believer in the impersonal 'his' and not the PC and clumsy 'his or her.' So there.] Of course, I try not to expose this work to a large public. I don't promote the URL and I discourage links from popular sites. I am putting on the WEB, though, and it isn't pasword protected. I don't think this is really relevant, though. I think that if Proust had labored on that novel and not published it that it would still be art. Exposure is irrelevant. Art is important because there are rules and those rules are broken. This allows man to be more than a creature of instinct, allows him to create in the true sense of the word. Maybe. So...of course the journal is art because that's easy. Worthwhile? To me, maybe. To anyone else, I'm not so sure. I also know that other people can in certain instances be moved, influenced, elated and blown away by other people's art because it happens to me every day.

Is it time for a format change?
While catching up, I eliminated quotes. I was going to eliminate the looking back WEB things but I decided I wanted to keep that part and it would be too much trouble somehow to start again. Quotes are easy to start again. (This is me...enjoying someone else's art while you watch.) Format changes seem to be required occasionally though for one to 'grow.' I've been feeling the need.

a part of the house we consider 'new' (actually the oldest remodel but decades newer than the old part of the house) abuts the newest part...the master bedroom/bath expansion...things do seem to be moving along, n'est ce pas?	I've got to question it Catching up the online journal was time-consuming. I should have been doing other things. I know I claimed in these pages a few days ago that I considered this a work of art. Maybe a bad one, but still one I cared about. When I'm away for a few days or I fall down on the job and I do a bunch of days at once, I realize (a) how much time I waste on the thing; and (b) how hard it is to be fresh when I'm far from 'real time'; and (c) how quickly I forget. So there are many questions. Is it worth the time? I must say that it seems more worth it when I look back at entries from a couple of years ago and realize I have captured something that (a) I might be able to use for a 'real' project; and (b) that I would hate to have lost. (In fact, I am sometimes shocked to realize that some intentionally vague reference to something that I wanted to not say directly is, upon rereading, incomprehensible to me. I actually don't remember the person or event obliquely referred to. Of course, I onl remember the specific things referred to in many cases because I wrote it down.) But in real time, it seems like a time waster. At best it seems like 'practice' writing (typing?) where I'm just trying to get my chops up for the performance that I never quite get around to executing. So...I just don't know. If I didn't do it, would I spend my time in some better way? Should I try to create a 'page a day' One always cheats a little in any case. I try to have the pictures not post-date the date (although they may pre-date it by any numbers of days or years). I try to capture the mood (not to mention the food) of the actual day. Sometimes the essay (and we use the term loosely) portion of the page is something I thought of and formed later but that seems to represent that day. Of course, any time you write, you are writing about the past or predicting the future. There really is no now, is there? Even timed and dated blogs can't create a present, in my opinion. I don't know why I'm so hung up on a 'page a day.' Many of my favorite journalers skip days often or occasionally. In fact, I don't have much time to read other people's journals...because I'm trying to do a 'page a day.' *Is it art? Is it anything* that is worthwhile?** Well, I'm a firm believer in the maxim that art is simply what one chooses to identify as art. From there, it's up to the critics to decide and distinguish. The creator has had his day. [Ed. note: The author is a great believer in the impersonal 'his' and not the PC and clumsy 'his or her.' So there.] Of course, I try not to expose this work to a large public. I don't promote the URL and I discourage links from popular sites. I am putting on the WEB, though, and it isn't pasword protected. I don't think this is really relevant, though. I think that if Proust had labored on that novel and not published it that it would still be art. Exposure is irrelevant. Art is important because there are rules and those rules are broken. This allows man to be more than a creature of instinct, allows him to create in the true sense of the word. Maybe. So...of course the journal is art because that's easy. Worthwhile? To me, maybe. To anyone else, I'm not so sure. I also know that other people can in certain instances be moved, influenced, elated and blown away by other people's art because it happens to me every day. Is it time for a format change? While catching up, I eliminated quotes. I was going to eliminate the looking back WEB things but I decided I wanted to keep that part and it would be too much trouble somehow to start again. Quotes are easy to start again. (This is me...enjoying someone else's art while you watch.) Format changes seem to be required occasionally though for one to 'grow.' I've been feeling the need.
JUST TYPING Art. Part of life. Start of life. The mystery of life. Maybe there is only Art.
		Food Diary. *breakfast* nothing lunch [Peony] hot and sour soup fried wontons with hot mustard and sweet sauce (the equivalent of the tortilla chips and salsa) pine nut chicken (which had a few pine nuts and some snow peas), steamed rice and a little fried chicken wing 'leg' *snacks* nothing dinner {East Side Cafe] salad with feta creamy dressing broccoli with lemon mushroom crepes ginger pumpkin bread mucho wine Today I - ate out every morsel - didn't have red meat - had something healthy---broccoli
		Time flies.... Forrest was up real early and I should have been, too. I didn't get up until he was back from an early morning trip to a radio station (I think). I got up but didn't go to the gym with him because I wanted someone to be here while the guys worked. Then I was lazing around, drinking coffee and doing the journal. And wondering whether I should do the journal. I made a call to my sister to be sure she got her birthday card. FFP left the bank deposit with me. I had an 11:30 lunch date and I decided to put off my workout until afternoon. The remodel roared around my office. FFP wanted me to look at printing proofs and scan pictures. Reasonable requests. Soon it's 10:30. With a lunch date at 11:30, is it too late to start a new project? Should I make lunch dates when they seem so much like interruptions? Possibly. Possibly they are welcome interruptions. After my lunch, SuRu came back here to look at our chaos and then I went to the bank and the health club completing forgetting that we had a 'closet lady' coming over at 2p.m. When I got out of the gym there were calls on my phone about that and about some snafu with the city and the zoning on our building. Damn that building. But I'm sanguine about it. Someday we will straighten out all this mess, get it sold and simplify our lives. We just decided to go out and have fun about five o'clock. We went (fighting the traffic) to East Side Cafe, had some good food and wine and went to Arts on Real and saw a cool send-up of beauty pageants.

		Reading. The Secret of D-Day by I'm not sure who...it's a old paperback about various spies on both sides of the conflict.
		I thought up these characters for a piece of fiction. They are all touched by some big deal thing except one whose life is pretty much an ordinary thing.
		Exercise Fifty or so minutes on the recumbent bike. A bunch of abs and lower back routines.
	. .	114/77 68 Physically feel really good.
	It's a Tangled Web we weave...these days of our lives.	One year ago "First, I go through my Access data base of people and clean it up a bit. If someone has died, I eliminate them. If I know that someone isn't at that address and I have no idea where they are, I take them off. There are always a few of these corrections I already know to make. I mark the column labelled 'XMAS' with a 'Y' for those I'll send a mailing out to." Two years ago "Of course, reaching this anniversary also causes the usual question. Should I keep doing this? Should I reformat it? Rename it? Whatever."