The Visible Woman...October 15, 2003

In spite of (1) having to go to the dentist; (2) having to move our pitiful dusty things around to remodel; (3) hearing that our building deal is in jeopardy; I feel good. I feel jaunty. I'm OK. Things will work out. Won't they?

I didn't think the building deal would go through. They are claiming some contractor says the floor needs $30,000 worth of asbestos remediation. Sounds like a scam to me. It's concrete with carpet glued on, I thought. Hmm. They may ask for a contract at a lower price or back out. Whatever. I'm not upset. I still have plan Z (plans B thorugh Y failing) to make the place into a secondhand bookstore, leave the carpet (and the asbestos?) in place and sell off the book collection. I'm going to call the place Bookends and sell bookends, too, that I buy on ebay or junk shops to enhance the theme of the different areas. [Ed. note: I am not really going to do this, of course, because it is something like work. But it's fun to think about.]

My older dental work has a tendency to fall out. It needs regluing with more modern cements. I can't really remember when I got this crown but I bet it was long ago. (I hope so.) The dentist says 'yes.' Of course, he also says that once they come out they tend to keep coming out. The gold goes 'sprong' or something. Whatever. I think he has payments to make. So, whatever...I'm glad it fell out while I was in town and wouldn't have to find a dentist somewhere else or wait. Looking on the bright side, you know. I have a spring in my step when I leave the dentist. Especially since he didn't have to deaden it. Even though I agreed to go back tomorrow for my twice a year cleaning and lecture on my poor dental hygiene.

Our furniture is kind of pitiful. Will we even want these wardrobes and this dresser and such in our new bedroom when we decorate it? But we have carefully moved it. Revealing, I might add, mounds of dust where the pieces have been sitting. These are nice pieces, in a way. Some old twenties or thirties deco wardrobes and a modern dresser that is good quality and doesn't match but doesn't clash either. We also have the movers move a heavy stone sculpture, an antique dresser and a deco bar that are in the room next to the room soon to be deconstructed. The big room now has more clutter. But. It's fine. There are people around the world living in huts with dirt floors, mats and the whole family threatened with AIDS or massive violence or starvation.

I just am not going to get upset by any of it. Heck, I've been reading about D-Day. I'm alive and no one is threatening to shoot at me. As I said to Forrest about the building: "Don't worry about it. Whatever happens, it won't matter when we die." We will die, too. I always feel better on days that are cool and sunny and when I remember that I will die somehow.

I'm just sad that I had this feeling that I wouldn't mind going to the dentist so much if I was working. Then I'd be getting out of work! Since I so rarely took sick leave, dental and medical appointments were the only time I felt OK taking off when I didn't have vacation.

Wednesday, October 15, 2003

A Journal from Austin, Texas. A Project of LBFFP Stealth Publishing.
food	reading	writing	time	exercise	health and mood

. abstract reflection	upbeat In spite of (1) having to go to the dentist; (2) having to move our pitiful dusty things around to remodel; (3) hearing that our building deal is in jeopardy; I feel good. I feel jaunty. I'm OK. Things will work out. Won't they? I didn't think the building deal would go through. They are claiming some contractor says the floor needs $30,000 worth of asbestos remediation. Sounds like a scam to me. It's concrete with carpet glued on, I thought. Hmm. They may ask for a contract at a lower price or back out. Whatever. I'm not upset. I still have plan Z (plans B thorugh Y failing) to make the place into a secondhand bookstore, leave the carpet (and the asbestos?) in place and sell off the book collection. I'm going to call the place Bookends and sell bookends, too, that I buy on ebay or junk shops to enhance the theme of the different areas. [Ed. note: I am not really going to do this, of course, because it is something like work. But it's fun to think about.] My older dental work has a tendency to fall out. It needs regluing with more modern cements. I can't really remember when I got this crown but I bet it was long ago. (I hope so.) The dentist says 'yes.' Of course, he also says that once they come out they tend to keep coming out. The gold goes 'sprong' or something. Whatever. I think he has payments to make. So, whatever...I'm glad it fell out while I was in town and wouldn't have to find a dentist somewhere else or wait. Looking on the bright side, you know. I have a spring in my step when I leave the dentist. Especially since he didn't have to deaden it. Even though I agreed to go back tomorrow for my twice a year cleaning and lecture on my poor dental hygiene. Our furniture is kind of pitiful. Will we even want these wardrobes and this dresser and such in our new bedroom when we decorate it? But we have carefully moved it. Revealing, I might add, mounds of dust where the pieces have been sitting. These are nice pieces, in a way. Some old twenties or thirties deco wardrobes and a modern dresser that is good quality and doesn't match but doesn't clash either. We also have the movers move a heavy stone sculpture, an antique dresser and a deco bar that are in the room next to the room soon to be deconstructed. The big room now has more clutter. But. It's fine. There are people around the world living in huts with dirt floors, mats and the whole family threatened with AIDS or massive violence or starvation. I just am not going to get upset by any of it. Heck, I've been reading about D-Day. I'm alive and no one is threatening to shoot at me. As I said to Forrest about the building: "Don't worry about it. Whatever happens, it won't matter when we die." We will die, too. I always feel better on days that are cool and sunny and when I remember that I will die somehow. I'm just sad that I had this feeling that I wouldn't mind going to the dentist so much if I was working. Then I'd be getting out of work! Since I so rarely took sick leave, dental and medical appointments were the only time I felt OK taking off when I didn't have vacation.
JUST TYPING Moving stuff around. Is one solution. Maybe you will lose something in the swirl.
		Food Diary. *breakfast* nothing *lunch* tofu no-egg salad some edaname *snacks* some cheese a handful of Puffins dry cereal Jack and water Chimay draft beer *dinner* Split an order of mushu porkand an order of General Tso's chicken with FFP...although not much rice Okay...a bit of alchohol and a bit too much food. Even hampered chewing for part of the day doesn't slow me down.
		Time flies.... I went to the gym before water aerobics and then showered and did part of the class and showered again and got back in time for the movers (who were supposed to be here at 9:30 but came after 10) and then it was after eleven when we finished moving stuff and then I called the dentist and got a 2pm appointment so then I was just sitting around waiting for that. When I got through at the dentist, I took a short drive. Then time really disappeared somewhere. I did laundry, ordered and fetched take-out, watched some baseball and we went out.

		Reading. I.F. Stone's A Nonconformist History of our Times: The War Years 1939-1945 reminds one that greed and stuff have always driven our wars and preparations for war. There are several articles about the entanglements of industry and our then and soon-to-be enemies and reluctance to turn away from the expediency (and rewards) of commerce.
		Ho hum.
		Exercise thirty minutes on recumbent bike some abs and stretches forty-five mnutes of water aerobics
	.	Mood is good and for no reason.