Part of my depression can be attributed to the movies I chose. Alcoholism, Alzheimer's, Poverty, Illegal Immigration, Suicide, Murder, Child and Spousal Abuse, AIDS, War, broken families, losing jobs, gambling addiction, the coming oil crisis, the failure of child welfare, mercenaries, failures of self-government in Africa after colonialism (with more alcoholism), more lost jobs (to overseas companies), greedy record companies, gay bashing, global warming, the credit crisis (with more suicide), incest implied with a bit of statutory rape and murder and more useless war, failure of democracy in Iraq and genocide. About the most upbeat movie I saw was Cassidy Kids and not a single person in it is all that happy.

Add to these uplifting movies the fact that while standing in line to see a movie FFP called a friend of ours about some social engagement or the other he was trying to organize and learned that she has a serious cancer. Also I kept worrying about my dad who seems to be ailing but the doctors can't figure out why. He had swollen glands and a stiff neck to start out and he went to the emergency room to be sure he didn't have menigitis. He also saw his GP. His woes seem to change and have included some bad headaches.

If there is any good news it is that I managed to work out almost every day. I feel pretty good myself if too fat. I ate too much, of course. Major minefields for the waistline during the week: that free pizza-size focacia stuff at Taverna, those mocha banana Maui Wowi smoothies sold at the stand near the lines for the movies at ACC, tasty croissant snacks and sandwiches and soup at Hideout, popcorn (yes, I did have some popcorn but at only one out of twenty-one movies), Guinness (Alamo serves it while you watch movies, who could resist?). Then there was duck confit at Capitol Brasserie (good and not too huge a portion but I made up for it by sharing a cheese plate with FFP) and duck confit at Traviata (which was HUGE plus I drank a bunch and we drank some more at 219 West while listening to NOT SXSW music). There were some misses, of course, in the culinary department: Silhouette on Congress seems kind of grimy for a sushi bar (shouldn't they be scrupulously clean?) and they had a bad painting of the Alamo for sale and I just can't get behind that. The food was delicious at a benefit party before we saw Nobelity. (Lots of celebrities there getting behind Turk Pipkin, the filmmaker. Dan Rather, Lyle Lovett. Joe Ely.) Even when we weren't eating out I was doing bad things like eating nachos and drinking beer. We also went to Taco Shack's downtown location for breakfast tacos yesterday. A Shack with Wi-Fi, a flat screen TV and a bathroom with those motion-detecting faucets and towels just seems wrong but it is in the Frost Bank Tower. But a change from the one in my neighborhood where you eat your tacos on a rickety picnic table in front.

Lest you think I exagerated about film downers above, here's a quick look at what I saw:

The Last Western A bunch of down and out people in a down and out town built as a movie set.
Letters From the Other Side Women left behind (or even widowed when their husbands died in that major smoothering incident in the tractor trailer) when their husbands, boyfriends and sons come to the U.S. to work.
Jumping Off Bridges No one (in the film) dies jumping off a bridge. Well, maybe not. But it's about accidents and suicide and how families fray.
Things That Hang From Trees Yes, that sounds ominous. Abuse, death. Sigh. Cute, though. Bad stuff done cute.
Jam Ostensibly about Roller Derby. Really about failed dreams, AIDS with a few other things thrown in like alcoholism and bipolar disorder.
Gretchen A rather grim look at coming of age...but the most upbeat movie I saw!
Fired! The filmmaker got fired and made it into a book and a movie. Second most upbeat movie I saw.
Even Money Gambling is odds on bad for you. Whoa...suicide, murder.
OilCrash We will run out of oil. The only good news is that (1) we won't be able to wage war and (2) the forgotten women in Mexico who know how to raise things and start a wood fire will give us our comeuppance.
Bondage Not a sadomasochistic romp but rather a sort of lighthearted look at the failure of the system to protect youngsters.
Shadow Company Mercenaries wage war around the world. People die. Money is made. Old Story.
Wah-Wah Countries and kids come of age with mixed results.
Kinky Boots A lighthearted look at losing the shoe business in England to cheap imports. Actually, maybe this was the most upbeat of the movies. Drag queens save the day. But it wasn't believable. All those documentaries were getting too believable.
Before the Music Dies Musicians are losing their souls...not to the devil at the crossroads but to multi-national media companies. Actually, though, the movie promises some redemption.
The Cassidy Kids Manages to be light-hearted and completely somber at the same time.
Small Town Gay Bar A tenous refuge from a society intent on stamping you out.
Nobelity Maybe Nobel prize winners know how to get us all out of this mess? Nope.
Maxed Out Everyone in America is mired in credit card debt. Suicides attributed. I am debt-free and it depressed me. When all the oil is gone, the plastic for the cards will be too expensive.
In My Father's Den War is hell but a welcome relief from small town secrets.
My Country, My Country (Mawtini, Mawtini) It's God's will some of the Sunnis and such believe. Only they wish he would will the shooting to stop and the electricity to come back on.
KZ People live in the shadow of a concentration camp preserved as a memorial. An obsessed older man and kids avoiding military service show you around. This movie was about fifteen minutes too long. At the end they stuffed it with footage: loving pans across memorial sculpture, long shots of tour busses, one of the guides walking through the place locking it up. Earlier they said it took fifteen minutes for some of the victims to suffocate in the gas chamber. I really believe they wanted you to feel how long fifteen minutes could be even though your only problem was a sore back end from twenty-one movies.

A depressing lot. But a bunch of good movies, really. I gave Jam the lowest marks. But I should point out that it won some kind of jury award. There wasn't a stinker in the bunch. But they were, you know, just the teeniest bit depressing.

And that's all folks. SXSW Film 2006 is but a memory. I have real things to worry about.

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