AUSTIN, Texas, August 2, 2005 — Stayed up pretty late, didn't fall asleep right away. Kept going back to sleep when I did wake up. Finally got up when FFP was returning from the gym. Felt stupid and lazy. I didn't help get myself over that feeling by stumbling around the house until after noon, heck after one o'clock. I decided to sort out all the old papers sitting around. FFP says he is done with the ones that came since we returned from vacation but he says he might look at those that came while we are gone. So I'm trying to keep those neatly arranged with a scribble on them if I've read them. I discard some and add some to the paper pile in my office which is now two feet high.

I get stuck after that trying to create a T-Shirt on these T-Shirt sites and finding after much agony what does and doesn't seem to work there. Then I call a friend and get everything settled for a Saturday night get together and call the restaurant and make the reservation. When I call my friend we have to talk and talk about how we are wasting our time being out of work which we both are at the moment. So I waste some more time talking about wasting my time.

Somewhere in there I called my dad as usual and talked to him for a while. He seemed to be more on top of things than I. He'd at least been out to the store to buy some milk.

Well, I finally got off to the gym. It was well after one. I told FFP I'd take a deposit to the bank. Of course, in the aimless fashion that this day induced, I drove across Mopac before remembering it. I dutifully turned around and went back and did it, though. I did my bike ride, a good one, but nothing else. I was starting to feel rushed in my aimless way. It was three, I'd had nothing to eat or drink except coffee, I had sort of promised Dad I'd go over there tonight for a street gathering, I needed to review films, clean up, eat. Of course, when I got home the maid was hard at work on the kitchen and the master and so, all of that was more or less out of the question until she got done. That will make one feel aimless, being sort of locked out on making progress. It's funny, the maid doesn't come that many hours a week (less than she's scheduled for as a rule) but she always seems to be in my way. I should plan better, of course. But I don't. I'm hopeless and aimless.

So I go up to FFP's office and go to the toilet, come back and grab a banana, go through the mail. And, sort of stuck in my office, out of the maid's way, I look at catalogs out of the mail. The catalogs always make me think about things I'm considering buying. I look at the goods in the catalogs and wonder whether that is the stuff I should be buying. When I think about purchasing something I can go through a great deal of agony only to later make a snap decision to buy something. And, of course, there isn't anything I really, really need although I've been considering buying some hiking boots, some sheets, a new bathing suit and any number of random electronic devices. Looking through catalogs is, for me, also kind of like eating candy. One can dream of having the sleek modern interiors with all the clutter organized or of enjoying the products in the overwrought world of catalog writers. But I know they are best treated like candy...think about, look at, don't consume! I know that the real route to sleep interiors is to throw everything away. And that, in the end, a little clutter can be warm and inviting. Right?

Finally the maid leaves. She hasn't done everything and says that more will be done on Friday. At which time I will do doubt be wishing she weren't in my way.

In any case, it is after four and I'm still in sweaty workout clothes, have only had a banana (and coffee) for sustenance, haven't had a great workout and have accomplished little. Still I feel good and positive. I've set up a social event and made reservations, talked to a friend, figured out some things. And I almost finished reading that darn new periodical that is showing up at the Preece Ball household, The New York Review of Books. God, I am an aimless, shallow individual.

I eat this and that. Some reasonably healthy salad. Some chips and salsa. I watch two shorts for the AFF. I get a shower and dress.

Dad's neighborhood is having a meet the neighbors. I feel I should go over there and check on things so it's an excuse. I go over. I help him get out garbage and recycling. I notice he forgot to get the paper in today. We go to the little event. There are couples and dogs and kids. I talk to people. At one point one of his neighbors says he was concerned when an ambulance came. Dad asserts that his TIA was before his back surgery, but, of course, it wasn't. Of course, to find the exact days of these events I have to consult my journal.

I go home, have a salad with some tomato, mozzarella, basil and balsamic vinegar and drink a little white wine. FFP says a friend stopped by while I was gone. As I was up I see our friend Lori's lipstick on a wine glass. Yep, I never wear it so if there is lipstick on a wine glass a friend has been here.

I watch some game shows and read and then watch a couple of films for AFF. Time to sleep. I read a little in bed to try to fall asleep a little better. I have a hard day tomorrow. (Kidding, I have a lunch and a dinner appointment. Lunch is with a banker friend who wants our business and dinner is with friends. Hard duty. I am a sad excuse for a citizen.)