AUSTIN, Texas, Jan. 11, 2005 — When I worked (that's a constant theme around here, huh?), I always felt a relief when I showed up. I felt a relief getting up and getting decently groomed and going to the office. I felt a relief when I got to my desk, got coffee and settle in to fire up the computer and look at e-mail.

This good feeling from 'putting in the time' and 'showing up' is what makes people like Martha Stewart go on and show up in prison while still appealing. It will feel good when she's done her time. Feels good to get started.

So, I am armed with this new 'spend an hour' system.

I should get up earlier, though. I was absorbed in weird dreams and it was after eight.

When I rushed off to the gym, I was thinking "get back and put in that hour on financials." I got to the gym and it was around ten. I left about ten after eleven. A couple of things were weird in the gym. When I arrived they had orange ribbon tied on some machines. Including the recumbent bike that I climbed on for my aerobics workout. I was going to do thirty minutes and then try to get back on for the fifteen to make my forty-five. But they were moving the machines out as soon as someone dismounted. Turns out that they were going to replace them with new ones. Who knows if I will even like the new ones? I hate change. In any case, I went to forty-five and then my old favorite machine was drug away. I did some weights and had a smoothie. I don't usually have them (smoothies) but it just felt right somehow. As it turns out I wouldn't eat anything else until the maid showed up after two and I realized I was hungry and ran in the kitchen and got a hunk of cheddar, some green onions, some carrots and a couple of slices of turkey. And a glass of Superfood.

It was one of those days when gadgets misbehave and then start working again. When I got home from the gym, Dreamweaver started acting up but I killed it and started it again and it was fine. I had the DVR on an Antique Roadshow when it booted. I couldn't get it to work again without cycling power.

Anyway I did get my shower and get my hour in on the finances. (I kept having to extend because I interrupted to proofread for FFP and get the mail in and open it and such.)

Then I actually used my randomizer to pick a task and 'reading' got selected and I decided to work on the newspaper pile. I took a couple of interrupts from that (to look up something I found in The New York Times for possible travel info, to set up today's journal so I could write about how well this focus is working) but it really does make me feel better to set aside the time and, well, sort of focus. Besides the maid was here and I had to stay out of her way. She said she couldn't put in her time today and will be back Friday. Whatever. I'm lucky I don't have to do all the vacuuming and scrubbing myself.

I am much more casual about gadgets than I used to be. I discovered my Palm III died. I rarely used it except to take names and addresses with me when I didn't want to take the computer. I have the info in my computer. Stuff is always failing. I just hope that I can keep up with most of the data when the gadgets fail.

We had a pass to see a sneak of Hotel Rwanda. I had wanted to see this movie. We drove to South Austin and got lost finding the Tinseltown and got in. The AFF people let us have some of the reserved seats so we got good seats even though we only got there a half hour before. This movie is very moving. Events overtake people. I think it's hard for people to imagine just how people can be inflamed with hatred and power. We are still looking back at the Holocaust but genocide is not a thing of the past. The power of this movie is to horrify you without showing a lot of egregious wounds. It is instructive, too, to realize that these events killed several times as many people as the tsumani and probably displaced many more, too. And white Europeans aren't just to blame for not intervening...they inflamed the racial divide with their colonization and their running of this country. See this movie. You will feel helpless, but you will have more understanding of the horror most of the world has to face. Without the help of a natural disaster.

After the movie, we felt like having a drink. The Milles Collines hotel in the movie was a very, very luxurious hotel run by Sabena. So, even after all the whites had fled and refugees were filling the place up, there was a certain air of decor and luxury. Scotch and beer and fine cigars. We went home and watched the news and a DVRed episode of Law and Order: SVU and this and that and read and drank beer and ate nachos and thanked our lucky stars for our freedom and our luxurious lifestyle. We are so, so lucky.

Entertaining. There was an episode of Northern Exposure where Joel tries to have a dinner party. He sort of fails miserably and he feels bad. He doesn't understand that he isn't supposed to ask people to bring things, people won't all show up, he should have plenty of drink, etc. Maggie tries to make him understand what it means to be a good guest and a good host. The latter is a matter of simply caring if your guests have a good time. We are putting together an impromptu Golden Globe watching salad and sandwich buffet. For Sunday. I'm thinking of a handful of people to invite, how to put together some food. And drink. I do like to entertain people in small batches. And I've almost recovered from the Christmas party three weeks ago.

The DVR makes me watch too much TV. I record things, they look interesting and I feel I should watch them. I'm sure this will pass. Initially having Netflix made me watch too many DVDs. When they came in, I felt I should watch them right away, return them, get another. But I got over that. Each new innovation captures us for a while. Then we drift.

In any case, I stayed up too late watching game shows and a show about flea markets around the country.