The Visible Woman...April 8, 2004

Thursday, April 8, 2004

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A Journal from Austin, Texas.
A Project of LBFFP Stealth Publishing.

health and mood

take a different tack

Sometimes you need to shake things up. If only by looking at things in a different way.

Forrest has been thinking a lot about whether our preparations for leaving this world (or ceasing to be entirely sentient) are in order. This seems to come up every time we have a close call. An SUV roaring down Allandale at fifty or sixty, undeterred by a red light got our attention Saturday. If FFP had been a little quicker with the accelerator...boom! I tend to think of close calls this way: Ha! Missed me! I figure it's just one more indication that I'm going to live a long life and die in my sleep when my heart just quits beating. But Forrest thinks it's a sign to get your life in order.

Anyway, today I thought I'd shake things up. Not by doing anything all that differently. Just by looking at things differently.

I thought I'd just look at all my activities as if they were being viewed by me from somewhere else or by someone who comes behind, who isn't me. What would this other person or this me in another dimension make of the me that is making the bed or reading this screenplay? What would it matter if I read this section of The New York Times or did this exercise? How would this friend or acquaintance remember this encounter?

I can honestly say that this mind set made me calmer and somewhat more focused. It made me want to do some things that I have just let be waiting in the wings for a 'free time.' It made me see that few things matter all that much. It made me question my priorities. I'm sure that, tomorrow, I'll be back to a nervous, quivering, unfocused, self-centered bit of protoplasm. I will have lost the perspective.

But it worked for one day.

strore front art from the past

JUST TYPING

Just look at things upside down.
Turn them over.
Turn them around.
Think about when you're gone.
How things will look that you didn't take along.
How things will lose their treasured place.
Once one is no longer in the race.
Imagine whether this or the latter.
Will, when it's done, really matter.

Food Diary.

breakfast

nothing

lunch
[Peony]

hot and sour soup
Mongolian lamb with an egg roll and steamed rice
a bunch of fried wontons with sweet and hot mustard sauce

snacks

two Rolo chocolate caramels
a Vodka Gimlet
two 3/4 ounce Laughing Cow cheeses
a bowl of cheese, onions and hot sauce with tortilla chips

dinner

catfish stew (FFP sauteed catfish and chopped it into a can of chopped tomatoes and herbs)
two bowls of salad with tomatoes, cheese, broccoli, carrots, green onions and Bleu Cheese dressing (Maries bleu cheese viniagrette)

Today I
- kept eating (and drinking) after dinner but I wasn't really hungry.
- drank a lot of water.

Time flies....

I got up at a reasonable hour. But I wasn't off to they gym until a few minutes to ten. I had agreed to have lunch with a friend and, although we'd agreed I'd call and we would do it somewhat 'later' I felt rushed. But I still got through my entire leg, back and bicep routine and remained calm. I was showered and dressed long before my friend arrived. I even got a few things done around the house like taking out the trash. My friend and I went to Peony and solved the world's problems. After that we went by Petco so she could return something and then went to Sam's. Bought things like Ziploc bags, Laughing Cow cheese, toilet paper, copy paper, paper towels, soap, toothpaste, aged cheddar, legal pads. Bought a pair of Speedo sandals for the pool. Ho hum. My friend bought TP, RoundUp and a paperback book. We went back to the house. I tried to tidy up a few things, dodging the maid.

I decided to go for a second workout before dinner. This is something I'm always saying I'll do ("I'm rushed now but I'll come back later because I will have time") but rarely do. Today I did it.

We got home and made dinner. I cleaned up the dishes and we started watching CSI but it was a rerun so we watched two DVDs. One Bound is a Lesbian crime thriller that I was reading the screenplay for. Another Owning Mahowney is a 'based on a true story of remarkable fraud' piece with Phillip Seymour Hoffman. I plan to rent Love Liza soon, too. I love PSH. He's my favorite actor, I think. Fabulous in Flawless and Happiness and The Talented Mr. Ripley.

After two DVDs we watched a bit of a nasty John Waters piece on cable. (I love John but I don't always get him or really relish the watching. I love Pecker though. In that movie, in spite of the title, none are exposed...peckers that is. It's rather sweet except for a few moments. Anyway.) We read and fell asleep.

Reading.

Newspapers.

Some D Day stuff in Natl. Geo.

Part of the screenplay for Bound in an old Scenario magazine.

An article about A.J. Liebling in The New Yorker.

nothing

Thinking about Things.

Backpacks, suitcases, luggage.
I have four of five I actually use and eight or nine over ones.

(3618)

Exercise

recumbent bike	50min
treadmill	15min
ergonomic rower
water aerobics
chest, shoulder, triceps
leg, back, bicep	x
lower back	x
ab exercises	x
stretches	x
walking
tennis

I went to the gym twice to get in this stuff.

Physically fine and feeling strong.

It's a Tangled
Web we weave...these
days of our lives.

One year ago
"Mom started to feel poorly only about a year after making the effort to move this stuff. I know she hoped to get through all of it, finish things, discard things, make things. But here it is. Lost stuff without an owner."

Two years ago
"Some of my mom's symptoms are better but she has a cough and some complaints. I encourage her to get outside today for a minute or two."

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