The Visible Woman...January 29, 2004

Thursday, January 29, 2004

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A Journal from Austin, Texas.
A Project of LBFFP Stealth Publishing.

health and mood

			paralyzed by trivialities There isn't anything momentous so I'm paralyzed about what to do. No huge thing beckons for me to handle. There are many useful things I could do. Mostly I seem to be waiting for other people to do things, do them wrong, do them over. I finally do a few errands. I am paralyzed by the mess and my own indecision. But I know one thing: when I get this remodel done and when I get my dad through his medical crisis...there will be something else. You have to move past the paralysis...because there will always be something.
	OK...maybe it's a little dull overall.
	JUST TYPING Chores. Choosing one. Checking it off. Doing it right. Deciding.
				Food Diary. *breakfast* nothing *lunch* bowl of cereal with two percent milk cheese three slices of smoked turkey *snacks* cheese cubes fruit (berries, strawberries) crackers glass of white wine dinner (Westwood Country Club) some duck nachos (whoa, don't aks) four ounce filet and carrots and petit pan squash several too many glasses of wine bread and butter Today I - drank too much
				Time flies.... I didn't get up until after 7:30. I had coffee and fooled around ordering something on-line. Later I thought I might regret it since they are not promising quick delivery and some of the comments on bizrate were pretty negative about customer service and such. Of course, the thing will probably come before the remodel gets finished. At 9:30 none of the promised workmen of the day have shown up. The promise of workmen showing up always keeps me at loose ends. As if I could 'watch them' and keep mistakes from happening. So...I decide to go to the gym, work out and clean up there and then do a couple of errands. But I spend another hour doing sometihng before getting started to the gym. I shower up at the gym. Then I stop by the grocery store and pick up a few things. The workmen are nowhere to be seen. I set up the shredder and shred the stuff I've been collecting to shred for a while. This is a 'confetti' shredder. I run my hands through what's left...out pops the word 'deceased' and the name of my street. Why wouldn't a whole credit card number miraculously survive. Oh, well. I finally decide to go get drawer pulls. Then I go out to Fry's and buy some labels and I pick up a VCR/DVD player combo to replace the bad VCR. My idea is to take the (working) DVD player in the media room and replace it with this combo. I get home with the thing and decide that I won't attempt to install that until the workmen are through making messes and traipsing by right there. I get dressed and FFP and I go to a meeting. I sit at the meeting and think, "Boy, I wish I could add something to this process?" But, I can't. I don't think. I do enjoy being in on the planning. We shoot a call to the club on the way home and stop by to have dinner. We are finished and about to head home when some people come in that we know. We end up getting them to sit with us and they eat and we share various wines and talk about Paris and such. We end up getting home pretty late and falling into bed with a book.

				Reading. Newspapers. The Conquerers by Michael Beschloss. Omaha Beach; A Flawed Victory by ???
				nothing
				Exercise thirty-one minutes on recumbent bike chest, shoulder and tricep exercises sixteen minutes on recumbent bike
			. .	I woke up feeling good physically. No sneezing. I'm in a funk, though, but really I'm kind of going through the motions.
			It's a Tangled Web we weave...these days of our lives.	One year ago "I often say that we have the last portable dishwasher in America, but I suspect this is overstatement." Two years ago "At the live organization meeting, I see the slides and realize that if I weren't me and I weren't there I would think 'what happened to LB?'"

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