The Visible Woman...December 20, 2003

I have avoided 'retirement reports' and 'resolution updates' for a while now. But, it's time for an evaluation, an assessment.

I think it can be summed up this way: I have made it a priority to spend time with my dad and to get physically healthy. The fifteen months has been a success in these areas.

I don't see Dad every day but we do things together two or three times a week and we talk every day. We've had trips together and I've helped him do things living alone.

I go to the gym almost every day and put a premium on physical activity. I don't do much walking since my eXtreme dog walking partner moved out of the neighborhood. But I use cardio machines and weights in the gym and do water aerobics. Occasionally I play tennis and it doesn't even seem strenous. I feel strong and I have lost almost thirty pounds. That sounds like a lot. It isn't quite thirty pounds probably. I'm probably down a little due to the cold that will come back. Almost thirty pounds, though. Still we are talking fifteen months. If I said I lost two pounds in a month or one pound in two weeks, people would say "So what? my friend lost thirty pounds on the Atkins!" Got to lose fast to impress people. Still thirty pounds. I gained more than that over the years since high school. It took years and years though.

I still eat too much fatty food and not enough 'good' stuff but I'm doing better at getting fruits and vegies in the diet and avoiding some things some of the time.

So...I've gotten healthier and I have made my dad's life a little better (with a lot of help from a lot of his friends). What about those other goals?

I know I have those goals written down somewhere. They are all over the map from ridiculous to sublime. Play tennis and bridge, drink more water, do good for the world, travel and travel with proper preparation. Make a movie. Well, whatever. Starting tomorrow maybe. Or maybe I'll just be lucky to keep up the things that I have done well in the last fifteen months. The cold has shot down my energy for the exercise program and that always scares me.

I still look pretty fat, don't I?	fifteen months A person could accomplish anything in that amount of time. Right? I have avoided 'retirement reports' and 'resolution updates' for a while now. But, it's time for an evaluation, an assessment. I think it can be summed up this way: I have made it a priority to spend time with my dad and to get physically healthy. The fifteen months has been a success in these areas. I don't see Dad every day but we do things together two or three times a week and we talk every day. We've had trips together and I've helped him do things living alone. I go to the gym almost every day and put a premium on physical activity. I don't do much walking since my eXtreme dog walking partner moved out of the neighborhood. But I use cardio machines and weights in the gym and do water aerobics. Occasionally I play tennis and it doesn't even seem strenous. I feel strong and I have lost almost thirty pounds. That sounds like a lot. It isn't quite thirty pounds probably. I'm probably down a little due to the cold that will come back. Almost thirty pounds, though. Still we are talking fifteen months. If I said I lost two pounds in a month or one pound in two weeks, people would say "So what? my friend lost thirty pounds on the Atkins!" Got to lose fast to impress people. Still thirty pounds. I gained more than that over the years since high school. It took years and years though. I still eat too much fatty food and not enough 'good' stuff but I'm doing better at getting fruits and vegies in the diet and avoiding some things some of the time. So...I've gotten healthier and I have made my dad's life a little better (with a lot of help from a lot of his friends). What about those other goals? I know I have those goals written down somewhere. They are all over the map from ridiculous to sublime. Play tennis and bridge, drink more water, do good for the world, travel and travel with proper preparation. Make a movie. Well, whatever. Starting tomorrow maybe. Or maybe I'll just be lucky to keep up the things that I have done well in the last fifteen months. The cold has shot down my energy for the exercise program and that always scares me.
JUST TYPING Goals. What were they? Surely even though you can't remember the list. They had their influence. If only As a measure that you had some way to go. That your laurels weren't for sitting.
		Food Diary. *breakfast* a clementine *lunch* some hot tofu dip and a few carrots and a few spiced sweet potato chips a ounce or two of goat cheddar a banana *snacks* couple of bowls of salad with spring mix, green onions, carrots, mozzarella, Marie's Jalapeno Ranch and some rotesserie chicken six pieces of that darn candy dinner [Westwood Country Club] cabbage and sausage soup small Caesar salad half portion of grilled chicken with noodles and Asian stuff piece of bread and butter Jack Daniels and water 1/2 bottle of wine Today I -had a lot to eat and not that much exercise...yikes! I'll bet the 'sick effect' weight loss comes back. But that's OK. The scale isn't the important thing but I've got to get back to the gym with some vigor.
		Time flies.... I am fuzzy when I get up. It's about eight o'clock. I'm still fuzzy at nine when I get my second cuppa. I am waiting while FFP goes to the club in case some workmen show up who were AWOL yesterday. I move stuff around so that a broker can see our bronzes that we are going to try to sell. All part of our downsizing efforts. Yes, we are remodeling and adding space while we simultaneously attempt to get rid of stuff. Allegedly. I've ordered new stuff for the new room and I don't know where it will go if it arrives before the room is finished. FFP gets back and showers and dresses. Time for me to go to the club. I don't have much energy but I do some aerobic work and don't feel the worse for it. I don't feel like the weights. Maybe tomorrow. At home I fiddle around, read old papers, eat, talk to my dad on the phone about the visitors he had and show an art dealer some sculpture we are thinking of selling when he comes by. Then I realize that I don't really have anything I have to do the rest of the day. No workmen have shown up so I don't really expect any to come. Going shopping in any conventional way is out of the question...today is a big shopping day...the Saturday before Christmas. Forrest is off at the ballet and may stay until it's over which means he wouldn't be back until 4:30. Then he may go back tonight. I feel a little at loose ends but then I decide to just try to straighten up around here. Get rid of the papers and all that. When FFP comes home, he suggests going to the club for dinner. So I shower and dress and dry my hair. We sit quietly in the club at a four-top, reading and eating multiple courses of so-so food. "It's so comfortable, though," says himself. Indeed, it is. The staff is nice and helpful, secure in their eighteen percent and just glad you showed up. And the fruit pie FFP gets is great, according to him, and he asks the server to have one made for pickup on Christmas Eve. Home again we languish with reading and TV.

		Reading. As Eagles Screamed on the bike. They have now landed in Normandy in this book. In the wrong place according to the plan, though. Over and over as I read the literature of D-Day, invasion day arrives. Same facts, different perspective. The guys on the beach wish the barrage from the ships were more effective but these paratroopers are sending orange flares to call off a barrage on themselves. Old newspapers
		nada
		Exercise thirty-five minutes on recumbent bike fifteen minutes on treadmill
	. .	I am in a good mood although physically I guess I'm a little weak and my nose still wants to run.
	It's a Tangled Web we weave...these days of our lives.	One year ago "Three months ago I went to the office, removed the last of my things, turned in my keys, talked to personnel and my boss. I kept my security card until the evening party when I cheerfully turned it over to him. I can honestly say that I haven't regreted it for a minute other than wishing it wasn't such a hassle to get medical insurance and such." Two years ago "Gifts are part of the commerce between people, part of our conversation. Gift curmudgeons miss part of the communication between people. So do gift slaves who believe they have to have one at exactly the right time with the perfect Martha Stewart wrap and to heck with whether it speaks to the relationship between people."