The Visible Woman...November 7, 2003

We think we want to do things but then, when other people agree (or almost do), it makes us nervous. But nothing is as nerve-wracking as illness...even if, maybe especially if, it's a pet.

Contracts and other interest in the building are coming out of the woodwork. We wanted to sell, didn't we? Of course. Contracts are nerve-wracking, though. It's nice to have a lawyer to fall back on. Provisions you never dreamt of show up. We found that we've been listed in a service that charges realtors to look for property and this has generated leads. More than the ads we actually paid for although we don't know how the service found us.

I have a meeting, too, about something else I might end up agreeing to do. Under contract. Makes me nervous. I've said I might work one day if it were part-time consulting. But I'm not sure I want anyone to take me up on it.

Chalow got into the garbage. Tuesday night, I believe, she did that. There were some interesting food packages and coffee grounds. She never does that. Today she seems ill. Contracts? Agreements?

Quit worrying about those minor things and worry about the dog. I get an appointment with the vet. I take her. He can't find anything wrong with her. No temperature so I'm hopeful that it isn't much. She gets something to put good beasties in her gut. I'm not so worried now. And the contracts and agreements can get worried about on Monday. Or in the case of the work...in January when they get funding. I like it when I can defer worry to the future...especially months away.

I sit passively through a high school football. High school is different now. Actually we leave at the half. I'm not nervous. I'm leaving nerves behind for the weekend.

. Starlite Duck...very yummy...but today I didn't eat anything as grand "If I had not gone mad, I could not have left." James Baldwin, No Name in the Street	agreements and nerves We think we want to do things but then, when other people agree (or almost do), it makes us nervous. But nothing is as nerve-wracking as illness...even if, maybe especially if, it's a pet. Contracts and other interest in the building are coming out of the woodwork. We wanted to sell, didn't we? Of course. Contracts are nerve-wracking, though. It's nice to have a lawyer to fall back on. Provisions you never dreamt of show up. We found that we've been listed in a service that charges realtors to look for property and this has generated leads. More than the ads we actually paid for although we don't know how the service found us. I have a meeting, too, about something else I might end up agreeing to do. Under contract. Makes me nervous. I've said I might work one day if it were part-time consulting. But I'm not sure I want anyone to take me up on it. Chalow got into the garbage. Tuesday night, I believe, she did that. There were some interesting food packages and coffee grounds. She never does that. Today she seems ill. Contracts? Agreements? Quit worrying about those minor things and worry about the dog. I get an appointment with the vet. I take her. He can't find anything wrong with her. No temperature so I'm hopeful that it isn't much. She gets something to put good beasties in her gut. I'm not so worried now. And the contracts and agreements can get worried about on Monday. Or in the case of the work...in January when they get funding. I like it when I can defer worry to the future...especially months away. I sit passively through a high school football. High school is different now. Actually we leave at the half. I'm not nervous. I'm leaving nerves behind for the weekend.
JUST TYPING Nerves. From looking at clauses. Or into the eyes. Of a forlorn pup. Something grips your stomach hard. Inside out. Your nerves connected to things outside yourself.
		Food Diary. *breakfast* nothing lunch [Zin] spinach salad with tomato, cucumber, shrimp and balsalmic vinegar *snacks* two small slices salami, two slices provolone cheese, hot tea *dinner* three slices turkey bacon some shredded cheddar cheese a few chips Today I didn't - drink alcohol
		Time flies.... I do the gym justice but get there early enough to not rush for lunch. I check that the gate at the building is open for the meter reader. I get to my lunch so early that I wander through Anderson Coffee Company. There's an Austin business that's been there forever. There are contracts to consider and a maid underfoot and a dog to worry about when I get home. I found time before the gym and in between contracts I had to look at to make a going away card for a friend from the lyrics of goodbye songs. Then it's time to go to the high school football game I promised to attend with Forrest. We stay long enough to see the half time show. Then it's home to see about the dog, watch a little TV and read. And snooze. I didn't accomplish much today and yet I felt busy and stressed. Reviewing contracts and worrying about pets will do that. Sitting in the stands at a high school football game, seeing what's changed (a lot) and knowing that what these kids worry about (a lot, too) will be largely forgotten in a few years gives the arc of time perspective.

		Reading. Read Paris in Mind ed. by Jennifer Lee on the bike. Daybook, The Journal of an Artist by Anne Truitt.
		this and only this
		Exercise thirty-one minutes on the recumbent bike chest, triceps exercises twenty-five minutes on the treadmill
	. .	There was the nerve thing but I feel OK.
	It's a Tangled Web we weave...these days of our lives.	One year ago "One reminded me that our birthdays were close to one another. And that we were almost exactly the same age. I'd forgotten." [Ed. I didn't record whose birthday or where the party was but we went to a fiftieth birthday party. I don't remember who it was. Sad.] Two years ago "It's interesting to watch to local LA news for a change. They are all knotted up about a proposal to decorate the HOLLYWOOD sign with stars and stripes. I'm not kidding. I never kid you." An Interesting Link Forrest found this one and it is really cool. I quote from this site without their permission: "Dot City was launched in 1998 to create something unique online: a site devoted to Dorothy Parker's life in New York. The award-winning writer and peerless wit was a quintessential New Yorker, and that's what this site celebrates." I'm going to have to take time to read this one through and through. Last time we were in NYC we stayed on 44th Street near the Algonquin and the old The New Yorker offices. I always ask people where they stay in NYC. Lately people mention Upper East and Upper West side bargain places. But I really liked being on 44th Street except for the Union agitators that were there.