The Visible Woman...October 10, 2003

I enjoy who I am and who I can be today. Wish I could always do that. I also enjoy my stuff in a way that hasn't seemed possible lately what with trying to get some of it out of my way.

Tennis. I imagined retirement as being able to play tennis at, say, 8:30 on a Friday. Even a persistent mist that wasn't quite rain and didn't really wet the court and kind of a muggy atmosphere didn't take away my joy at being able to play while others worked. Even losing (and 3-6, 0-6 at that) didn't steal the joy. I loved my good strokes, her good strokes, my bad ones, my sweaty brow. Who are these people that can play tennis on a Friday morning? Me! Oddly, the fairly young woman I played with is married to a lawyer and he was working away on the next court with the club's new ball machine. Maybe he takes Fridays off? I don't care. I love being out here.

I had lunch with an old work buddy. He is at a new company. It is private and that means some good things. He has the usual worries, though. A long commute, the need to produce for the bottom line, customers. We talk about out old company and its troubles. I feel free of it and able to analyze it without emotion. It's nice. The meal is nice. No rush to leave after we pay but he needs to be off and I'm actually eager to get after my cleaning out tasks. It's getting close...and finishing up will be so nice.

I ran a couple of errands for FFP today...helping him avoid a trip. I feel helpful and it's fun to drive around, no rush and see what people are up to who are out and about.

My moving stuff around goes well if not as well as fast as I would like. I've succeeded in getting rid of stuff, consolidating until I think that we can really vacate the master bedroom and bath for the remodel. There a many pieces of the puzzle but I think it will work. All the climbing, bending and stooping makes my back twinge a little but it doesn't really hurt. I'm glad that I can do this stuff and feel strong doing it. I'm still fat but becoming better...slimmer, stronger, better posture (I know but better than what?). I have fewer aches, less stress. I don't seem to have headaches, sniffles, coughs, fatigue.

I feel joy at the arts things we've seen last night and tonight. We saw a well-made low budget film called 'Klepto' last night. I liked it and liked that there was a festival to showcase it so that people could see it. And tonight. Wow. Ballet Austin's Taming of the Shrew was totally awesome. Comedy. Amazing sets. Amazing dancing. Baroque Italian music, a few odd and amazingly appropriate props, humor, dance. Stupendous.

I enjoy socializing after the ballet. Backstage there is food and drink and people I love to be with. A friend invites us to a lecture by Norma Lear at the University this month. It sounds cool.

The things I own are under control enough to be enjoyed a little now, too, I think. After to tossing out, giving away, moving around I find myself enjoying my piles of books and collectibles and electronics. Really. This is where I need to be vis-a-vis my stuff.

Friday, October 10, 2003

A Journal from Austin, Texas. A Project of LBFFP Stealth Publishing.
food	reading	writing	time	exercise	health and mood

. An egg collection with one odd man out...this was a collection that FFP actually started.	the shear joy of it I enjoy who I am and who I can be today. Wish I could always do that. I also enjoy my stuff in a way that hasn't seemed possible lately what with trying to get some of it out of my way. Tennis. I imagined retirement as being able to play tennis at, say, 8:30 on a Friday. Even a persistent mist that wasn't quite rain and didn't really wet the court and kind of a muggy atmosphere didn't take away my joy at being able to play while others worked. Even losing (and 3-6, 0-6 at that) didn't steal the joy. I loved my good strokes, her good strokes, my bad ones, my sweaty brow. Who are these people that can play tennis on a Friday morning? Me! Oddly, the fairly young woman I played with is married to a lawyer and he was working away on the next court with the club's new ball machine. Maybe he takes Fridays off? I don't care. I love being out here. I had lunch with an old work buddy. He is at a new company. It is private and that means some good things. He has the usual worries, though. A long commute, the need to produce for the bottom line, customers. We talk about out old company and its troubles. I feel free of it and able to analyze it without emotion. It's nice. The meal is nice. No rush to leave after we pay but he needs to be off and I'm actually eager to get after my cleaning out tasks. It's getting close...and finishing up will be so nice. I ran a couple of errands for FFP today...helping him avoid a trip. I feel helpful and it's fun to drive around, no rush and see what people are up to who are out and about. My moving stuff around goes well if not as well as fast as I would like. I've succeeded in getting rid of stuff, consolidating until I think that we can really vacate the master bedroom and bath for the remodel. There a many pieces of the puzzle but I think it will work. All the climbing, bending and stooping makes my back twinge a little but it doesn't really hurt. I'm glad that I can do this stuff and feel strong doing it. I'm still fat but becoming better...slimmer, stronger, better posture (I know but better than what?). I have fewer aches, less stress. I don't seem to have headaches, sniffles, coughs, fatigue. I feel joy at the arts things we've seen last night and tonight. We saw a well-made low budget film called 'Klepto' last night. I liked it and liked that there was a festival to showcase it so that people could see it. And tonight. Wow. Ballet Austin's Taming of the Shrew was totally awesome. Comedy. Amazing sets. Amazing dancing. Baroque Italian music, a few odd and amazingly appropriate props, humor, dance. Stupendous. I enjoy socializing after the ballet. Backstage there is food and drink and people I love to be with. A friend invites us to a lecture by Norma Lear at the University this month. It sounds cool. The things I own are under control enough to be enjoyed a little now, too, I think. After to tossing out, giving away, moving around I find myself enjoying my piles of books and collectibles and electronics. Really. This is where I need to be vis-a-vis my stuff.
JUST TYPING Joy. Comes oddly. Mist visible againt the tennis fence screen. Losing. Joy at deuce. At the well-placed shot. Mine or hers. Joy at the sweat. At being able to play tennis on a week day.
		Food Diary. *breakfast* nothing lunch [Satay] a fried rice dish with a fried egg and chile sauce...yummy *snacks after ballet I had two small glasses of indifferent red wine and a couple of slices of pizza and some pesto on a cracker and a tiny piece of cheesecake and an asparagus spear with ham wrap and some artichoke hearts and a tiny bit of cheese and salami but when I got home I had some cheddar goat cheese (two ounces?) and tortilla chips (20?) and opened a beer but barely drank any dinner* two small bowls of salad with zuchinni, onions, carrots, mixed greens, cheddar cheese and Martin Brothers Ranch and garlic (Just Garlic) chips I ate at odd times and kind of odd things...I didn't really feel I overdid it, though. I put the beer in the frig. I don't mind flat beer...I'll drink it tomorrow!
		Time flies.... By the time I played tennis and ran an errand for FFP and cleaned up and went to lunch and came back and went to the bank and such it was early afternoon. I didn't accomplish all that much on the 'move everything around' front but I didn't feel stressed because it is so close. Soon it was time to get ready for the ballet and we got there way early and were able to see the preliminary class while watching the dancers finish class.

		Reading. I am reading D-Day and the Invastion of Normandy by Anthony Kemp. Lots of pictures and drawings and painting reproduced. I actually read some of it on the bicycle yesterday and I didn't actually read all that much of it today but I took it to the ballet to read between acts and socializing.
		I actually thought about my screenplay. Yeah. As if I had put a word on paper.
		Exercise Two sets of singles tennis. Lost 3-6, 0-6 but played a lot of long rallies and deuces. Over an hour. Gave myself a break from other stuff.
	.	Mood is upbeat. Physically fine.