Monday, November 18, 2002

Chalow investigates a car in Clarksville

"Books don't seem to stop, do they? Computers, hypertext, online newspapers. The printed word goes on."

LB, August, 1995

[I'm occasionally reviewing old, hand-written notebooks and I've decided to quote myself now and again. Somehow this was connected with the Unabomber. Remember the Unabomber?.]

I get up pretty early. I'm fuzzy, though. Finally get off to the club. Spill coffee on my already dirty TShirt on the way out. Oh, well. I work out. One of the personal trainers (looking for business) says I'm doing a good job of working out. Says I've lost weight. Maybe a little. A woman from the water aerobics class says she likes FFP's column in West Austin News after the trainer and I get into a discussion of retirement and she asks if FFP is retired and I explain, one more time, how he does work but also has restructured things to be more the work he likes and does some things without pay.

Then I pick up some groceries. Stuff for FFP's pre-surgery liquid diet (Gatorade, Apple Juice, Broth), sodas on sale, some cheese.

Take that home and go to get the dog food. Not because there was anything that needed to go home. But because I forgot the dog food until FFP mentioned it.

So I'm running these errands in my sweaty, ragged, coffee-stained sweats and TShirt and my hair sticks out in every direction but is sweated down and, yeah, I don't care. In fact, I don't see anyone I really know that well, not even at the club.

I have a boiled egg and several (a few too many) little Smokie sausages. I decide to work in the yard a little before I shower.

I'm bending over, standing on the uneven former compost pile when I feel really dizzy. I grab the fence. This had happened for a few days. Minor allergies, I figure. But this was much more somehow. Because it didn't stop. It didn't go away seconds later. I walked rubbery-legged to the patio and sat down. Breathed deeply. Better. Still fumbling, though, on my way to put up the tool and get inside.

Later I finally took a decongestant and that helped. Some little allergy really messing up my equilibrium. It is time for the mountain junipers.

So the day was kind of wasted. I work on making family calendars for my extended family on my Dad's side. This will be my Christmas gift to most of them. But I'd like to give them to some of them next week at Thanksgiving. Yikes, next week is Thanksgiving.

I alternate between printing out calendars and watching TV and DVDs and LDs and wandering around the house. (For the record the TV doesn't lose signal once. This is because the HiFi people have agreed to come replace cables. They don't think it could be the TV, but I do. What do I know.) The printer's color cartridge runs out. I have, of course, an extra B&W one. Of course. Oh, well. Lots of time. But that project doesn't get completed.

It feels like a wasted day. Because, it was. Somewhere in there, surely, I accomplished something. Well, I'm on my way with the calendar project. And, um, I picked up some yard waste before I almost fainted. And the dog will have food tomorrow. But yeah, wasted day. I never did shower. I know, it's disgusting. People told me retirement would be like this but I didn't believe them. I have to shower before bed just to sleep with myself!

I watch Simpsons reruns, Boston Public (better than usual), Third Watch (a little sappy but I like this show) and Crossing Jordan (this one is better now, too, with fewer things directly related to Jordan and mostly the cases although Jordan's brush with Lesbianism was kind of silly).

I do take that shower and I'm thinking that it's good to shower because you feel like it rather than because it's time to go to work. Still, perhaps I should have more structure!

After my shower, I'm considering whether I should wander down the back yard and see if I can see meteors through the night. Or at least see the moon. Which is full.

So I dress. I run a load of wash and get it in the dryer. I go outside a couple of times but there are clouds. The mooon is full, the air is nice (but full of allergens?).

Finally, I doze and doze in my chair and take it to bed.

JUST TYPING
One minute I'm there.
I'm fine.
The next I'm dizzy.
Grabbing the fence.
Can't walk a straight line.
Frightening.