Thursday
Aug 16, 2001
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Thursday Aug 16, 2001 |
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all too aware of my surroundings |
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My new crowns felt very weird in my mouth at first yesterday. I know that this sometimes happens and then they feel perfectly OK later. But today they are still bothering me. I can't decide whether to complain to the dentist. I can't decide if, when I get the other crowns it will be worse or better. Or worse for a while and then great once I get comfortable with my new bite. It's not like I'm in pain, but anything uncomfortable in the mouth is irritating. I am not even sure what about them makes me uncomfortable.
Things are strange at work. I'm struggling with something (OK, several things) I don't want to work on and feel powerless to help with between interesting technical discussions of things I find pretty interesting. Meanwhile the currents of change boil under the surface of the organization as usual.
My birthday never stops. (Did I mention that I discovered two other online journalers who had August 12 birthdays? What is it about that?) Anyway, I went out with four friends for Chinese food and they bought me lunch. At the next table, a man in a tie showed colored graphs to a couple and tried to sell them investments. My fortune said, "We would often be sorry if our wishes came true." Oh, I don't know about that.
We spent the evening at home. I had the idea that I would do something constructive. I didn't. I read the paper some, I figured out how to use my new digital voice recorder. I dozed off in my chair over disturbing and inane movies, old TV reruns. The dog has taken up wanting to go out every half hour when we are in the back room. Then when I'm real sleepy, I just 'check my e-mail' and end up surfing and putting this page together. I was going to work on learning some more Dreamweaver or using the video camera or something fun. But you have to sit down and work on it. Work at having fun. It's much easier to sit like a lump with a section of the paper in your lap.
Events force one to re-examine one's life. I seem to be at a juncture where many things are forcing this examination. I'm considering my own retirement, in terms of a few years instead of some time in the far reaches of time. I'm watching my parents and in-laws, all still active to some degree but all hampered somewhat by age. I'm watching my sister, now nearing the end of her third year of recovery from her aneurysm and strokes. (She was 55 when it happened to her and I am nearing that age.) I'm waiting for medical news from a friend's fight with cancer. I'm watching people losing their jobs and considering what I'd do if I lost mine now. I am working with someone I worked with over eleven years ago creating a time warp or vacuum as if some things had never happened.
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ephemera dreams
"I consider
scribbling a paragraph |
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Everyone talks about layoffs, who has been, who may be, what one will do if it happens to them, what is happening with people who are between jobs. Still, everyone seems so well off. Restaurants are crowded, people seem to be shopping.
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Meta Notes and Links: |
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JUST
TYPING