Thursday

February 15, 2001

Dreaming of New York

I awoke in the middle of a dream where a bunch of friends were sitting around a bed, reading out loud to each other.

I felt depressed because I was pulled in many directions at work and I dream of making many things happen. And I wasn't helping anyone. Meanwhile, I only had a couple of moments for my parents, to pick up the package for my great nephew and go mail it. I dream of spending some calm time with them here and there. I wasn't calm. I wasn't calm all day.

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This frazzled and that fizzled. FFP called and suggested that we go out. It seemed like a great idea. Jeffrey's, a glass of wine, two appetizers. Just us. Talking calmly. Why do I let myself get in a state? I'd avoided it for weeks. Staying calm in the most confusing circumstances. I think it's an encounter with a high-energy person at work who believes that we can get things done. Hope is an enervating thing. However, I know in my heart that being calm is the best and, finally, most productive approach.

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I read the papers and watched mindless old reruns like Law and Order. There was an article about a fad for restaurants and bars to have tables that are actually beds. I swear I didn't read this before the dream about reading aloud to friends in bed. In the dream, it was a real bed on a frame, not a mattress on the floor as this trendy seating appeared to be. I'm too old for that. The traditional seating at my local Japanese is usually eschewed. And they have the room under the table for your legs so it's just the getting up and down that hurts and embarasses.

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Waves of depression do catch one before one can surf to the beach sometimes. But it passes. And you again know how lucky you are. Heck, we have food (OK, I admit it...I had foie gras at Jeffrey's) and clean water. Clothes and a warm place to sleep. High speed Internet access, three newspaper subscriptions. And a trip to New York planned.

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