The Visible Woman...November 20, 2003

Everyone has a stage set for their experience. Mine started out very, very small and has at times been pretty big. The last year I've had moments when it seemed small and knowable and comforting. Mostly things race away from me, though, change happening that matters to me faster than I can take it in.

If you've ever read my bio here, you know that my world started out as an exceeding small place. For my first ten years, we lived on a farm. My adventures were pretty isolated. When we moved to a town, I was impressed that the town (unlike the one near the farm) had a bowling alley. I didn't ride in an airplane until I was 18. I didn't see Disneyland until the same summer. I saw a bit of Europe at twenty-four and have been quite a few places since, I guess.. Since retiring, I have travelled a little and surfed many topics and places through books and papers and other media and the WEB. But I've spent a lot of time in a small area of North and Central Austin, too, at familiar places and on familiar streets, capturing a certain rhythm and comfort.

I am interested in so many things and the world is such a breath-taking and overwhelming place. It has been nice occasionally to stay in a little cocoon. Drive the same relatively short path over familiar streets to the same club where I know the staff and recognize a lot of faces and maybe go no place else.

But even here on my house and grounds, things seem large. We have so much stuff and so many books and so much media and our computers reach out into that big, big world.

Yeah I've travelled although there are so many places I haven't been...and many I'd like to return to.

The world seems so large, so complicated, so unknowable. I try to catch up and figure stuff out, but it's hopeless.

I wonder how my dad feels about all this. I especially wonder how big the world seems to my in-laws who have never left the state (they haven't even been to Dallas) and don't often wander out of the neighborhood where they've lived for over fifty years. They do tune into CNN and they hear about things that they must seem quite amazing.

Do they feel overwhelmed? Well...I do. No matter how hard I try to make it otherwise...my world is very, very large.

Sketch done by a Nancy in 1997, sitting beside the grand canal.	how big is your world? Everyone has a stage set for their experience. Mine started out very, very small and has at times been pretty big. The last year I've had moments when it seemed small and knowable and comforting. Mostly things race away from me, though, change happening that matters to me faster than I can take it in. If you've ever read my bio here, you know that my world started out as an exceeding small place. For my first ten years, we lived on a farm. My adventures were pretty isolated. When we moved to a town, I was impressed that the town (unlike the one near the farm) had a bowling alley. I didn't ride in an airplane until I was 18. I didn't see Disneyland until the same summer. I saw a bit of Europe at twenty-four and have been quite a few places since, I guess.. Since retiring, I have travelled a little and surfed many topics and places through books and papers and other media and the WEB. But I've spent a lot of time in a small area of North and Central Austin, too, at familiar places and on familiar streets, capturing a certain rhythm and comfort. I am interested in so many things and the world is such a breath-taking and overwhelming place. It has been nice occasionally to stay in a little cocoon. Drive the same relatively short path over familiar streets to the same club where I know the staff and recognize a lot of faces and maybe go no place else. But even here on my house and grounds, things seem large. We have so much stuff and so many books and so much media and our computers reach out into that big, big world. Yeah I've travelled although there are so many places I haven't been...and many I'd like to return to. The world seems so large, so complicated, so unknowable. I try to catch up and figure stuff out, but it's hopeless. I wonder how my dad feels about all this. I especially wonder how big the world seems to my in-laws who have never left the state (they haven't even been to Dallas) and don't often wander out of the neighborhood where they've lived for over fifty years. They do tune into CNN and they hear about things that they must seem quite amazing. Do they feel overwhelmed? Well...I do. No matter how hard I try to make it otherwise...my world is very, very large.
JUST TYPING Where do you roam? And your mind? What are the survey markers Of your world?
		Food Diary. *breakfast* none lunch [Pacific Blue] small serving salmon with a glace and cabbage, small serving of chicken curry, small serving of steamed rice, small serving of sweet potatoes *snacks* banana bowl of tuna salad dinner [Four Seasons] several selections from the bread basket with butter arugula with figs and proscuitto sole with carrots and endive and sauce a couple of small chocolates red wine one glass champagne Today I -had a light lunch but was hungry soon after so I snacked - didn't drink after dinner but instead had only the champagne toast (hey...in my book that was being good)
		Time flies.... If I want to get up earlier, then I should go to sleep earlier. And, after I get up, I should get off to the club sooner. Still, I got my diatribe on doctors done and went to the club and got back and returned a phone call to find out a friend had died and showered and got ready in time to do a few things on the computer before picking up my lunch date. We lingered over lunch discussing illness, the Mayo clinic and how one is lucky to be alive. After lunch I bought gas, went to the container store, went to Dad's and packed some things we are taking to someone at Thanksgiving, went by my old employer to sign a patent applicatoin and assignment and went home and was ensnared in discussions of a client's WEB site and e-mail issues. Ended up talking to their tech guy a fairly long time. I was also enlisted by FFP to fix a WEB page that had lost its mind. Went out for over five hours. There's the day. [Went to Four Seasons with a friend and met FFP and then went to the bar for a Rebecca tribute.]

		Reading. Franklin and Winston: An Intimate Portrait of an Epic Friendship by Jon Meacham on bike. This is a fun way to review the progress of WWII.
		This and only this.
		Exercise forty-five minutes recumbent bike abs and stretching exercises
	. .	Hearing someone has died, even someone you aren't terribly close to, always puts a damper on any soaring your mood might think of doing. Physically I feel great, though, and it is a glorious day outside.
	It's a Tangled Web we weave...these days of our lives.	One year ago "I sketched out two short stories I'll proably never write in my head. Does that count?" Two years ago "I would love to retire and have time to put my entire house and yard in order. Get rid of stuff, clean, repair, figure out where everything is. There are drawers and closets I didn't touch in this last week. It wouldn't take long to bring order to it (although entropy would immediately take over in my wake) in the larger scheme of things. But while working and pursuing our decadent social life, I just can't keep up. Dust settles, magazines and newspapers arrive, things need doing faster than I can do. Hiring help works only to a point."