The Visible Woman...July 28, 2003

Today I pondered the way that, as soon as you assert that something is always a certain way, it changes; as soon as you think this is what I'll do today, you won't.

The more things change, the more they stay the same. And all that. But the more you think they are predictable, the more surprised you'll be. I was all over the map today. I'd thought about planning a trip to Dallas. We ditched it in favor of a trip to Portland and then that was off because it wouldn't be fun without our friends who figured out they'd scheduled something else.

I was waxing eloquently yesterday about how I did the journal religiously and then didn't work on the day's entry.

I was telling myself that I was going to clean the mounds of newsapers off my office floor if I did nothing else and get other 'clean up and out' tasks done, not wait until another party for the proper crisis mode. I was going to drop off a bag of stuff at the thrift store to complete the large (but not large enough) discard bonanza of last week.

But I didn't do those things. I played in a tennis clinic. But didn't work out before or after as I'd promised myself I would. Am I slipping in my dedication to exercise? (But, man, two hours of tennis drills in the sun. Whew! My dad thought I was sunburned I was so red for an hour after. But I was wearing a hat the whole time)

I didn't eat properly either. (Not that I've exactly developed a habit of eating properly!) No. Dad and I went out to lunch. The nicest things I can say about that lunch are (1) I did not drink sweet soda; and (2) I only ate half of a big greasy Reuben sandwich. And it was me that encouraged a dinner of rich cheese, crackers and caviar. (Although I patted myself on the back for not drinking alchohol.)

Where did my days and my intentions go? I shopped. Which was pretty much a bust. I did get a birthday present but I ended up with a little shelf for the shower that is defective and I have to take back. I did get picture wire although when I got home I thought that maybe I had some but hadn't looked in the right place. I was satisfied to see that there was none in my second tool box, the one I brought home from the office. Although to say that there is no picture wire in the house is like saying there are no paper clips or rubber bands in a house. These all fall into the category of house 'fluff.' Things of moderate usefulness that build up like dust bunnies, taunting you by there multitudes while hiding the thing you actually need at the moment, like a collar stay or a certain size screw or a ball of twine. We had to go out and get the latter to tie the banner on the hearse on Friday. (Did you just come in? If so, I guess 'tying banners on hearses' sounds a bit odd.

Monday, July 28, 2003

A Journal from Austin, Texas. A Project of LBFFP Stealth Publishing.
food	reading	writing	time	exercise	health and mood

ripped from ebay...a cheese poster	as soon as you say it Today I pondered the way that, as soon as you assert that something is always a certain way, it changes; as soon as you think this is what I'll do today, you won't. The more things change, the more they stay the same. And all that. But the more you think they are predictable, the more surprised you'll be. I was all over the map today. I'd thought about planning a trip to Dallas. We ditched it in favor of a trip to Portland and then that was off because it wouldn't be fun without our friends who figured out they'd scheduled something else. I was waxing eloquently yesterday about how I did the journal religiously and then didn't work on the day's entry. I was telling myself that I was going to clean the mounds of newsapers off my office floor if I did nothing else and get other 'clean up and out' tasks done, not wait until another party for the proper crisis mode. I was going to drop off a bag of stuff at the thrift store to complete the large (but not large enough) discard bonanza of last week. But I didn't do those things. I played in a tennis clinic. But didn't work out before or after as I'd promised myself I would. Am I slipping in my dedication to exercise? (But, man, two hours of tennis drills in the sun. Whew! My dad thought I was sunburned I was so red for an hour after. But I was wearing a hat the whole time) I didn't eat properly either. (Not that I've exactly developed a habit of eating properly!) No. Dad and I went out to lunch. The nicest things I can say about that lunch are (1) I did not drink sweet soda; and (2) I only ate half of a big greasy Reuben sandwich. And it was me that encouraged a dinner of rich cheese, crackers and caviar. (Although I patted myself on the back for not drinking alchohol.) Where did my days and my intentions go? I shopped. Which was pretty much a bust. I did get a birthday present but I ended up with a little shelf for the shower that is defective and I have to take back. I did get picture wire although when I got home I thought that maybe I had some but hadn't looked in the right place. I was satisfied to see that there was none in my second tool box, the one I brought home from the office. Although to say that there is no picture wire in the house is like saying there are no paper clips or rubber bands in a house. These all fall into the category of house 'fluff.' Things of moderate usefulness that build up like dust bunnies, taunting you by there multitudes while hiding the thing you actually need at the moment, like a collar stay or a certain size screw or a ball of twine. We had to go out and get the latter to tie the banner on the hearse on Friday. (Did you just come in? If so, I guess 'tying banners on hearses' sounds a bit odd.
JUST TYPING What you think. Is inevitable. Unchanging. Predictable. Under control. Slips away. Things don't go as planned. They just go. With time.
		Food Diary. One half of a good-sized Reuben sandwich (kraut, corned beef, Russian dressing) and a bag of chips. Chips have 200-300 calories in a little bag, you know. Pickle. A bunch (twenty? more? less?) of crackers with rich cheese and caviar and lemon and onions. Boy...what a horrible diet. At least eat some salad tomorrow along with the bad stuff! Or some fruit or something.
		Time flies.... Sometimes I get stuck into making cards for friends and it sucks time away because I look for pictures and fool with Fireworks or rubber cement to arrange them. This was one of those days that didn't seem to have enough hours. The two hour tennis clinic, visiting with Dad, shopping. Time vortexes. Shopping is especially bad. I don't just strike and get something. I look at other stuff. To see what they have. This is useful if I need something else or need to find another present. Browsing in the bookstore yesterday I came up with a book for a present. I actually saw stuff at Pottery Barn today that I might like to have as a present. Or give as presents in the future. As if these things will be there when I go back, months from now.

		Reading. I read the Arts section of The New York Times and worked the crossword. That's about it.
		Even if the journal is writing (and I'm not so sure), I'm not dedicating enough time to it for it to really be worth readers.
		Exercise The tennis clinic used my fitness but I'm not sure it contributed much to it.
		Upset stomach is disappearing and I feel pretty good physically and my mood was good in spite of my lack of productivity.