The Visible Woman...May 22, 2003

A day in which I ponder many years of my life, the part in which I have been married.

Relationships are complicated. Even the simple ones, those little friendships, those relationships with people we socialize with occasionally, people we do one activity with like a sport or organization.

Marriage involves domestic sharing, financial sharing, intimate relations, friendship and much more. A bunch of relationships and implied agreements.

I woke up in the middle of a dream this morning. In the dream a tiny baby was aging, wrinkling like an old person before our eyes.

But relationships, especially marriage, move more imperceptibly, more glacially. At least the ones that last do. The tempests and tirades may be there so it may not seem calm but the relationship is still changing slowly if at all. [Ed. note: For the record we don't have many blowups at our house. Minor miffs, misunderstandings, the occasional harsh word, sure. But not much in the big theatrical department.]

No, marriages just evolve and then one day you find yourself with this complex understanding and history and a set of implied agreements that would make the tax code look small.

Each expects the other to do certain things, to almost never do others. You can tell what's going on with this other person, how they are feeling. What they are thinking about doing. You can read a lot from a simple sentence or glance.

People say you become alike. I don't think that's true. But you do become hyper aware of the other person as if they are another part of you on remote control.

At least, that's how it seems to me. People say every marriage is different. That may be true just as relationships are different in general, just as every person is unique.

Thursday, May 22, 2003

A Journal from Austin, Texas. A Project of LBFFP Stealth Publishing.
food	reading	writing	time	exercise	health and mood

a Kobayashi, a gift from FFP but not this year "Keep thy eyes wide before marriage and half shut afterwards." Thomas Fuller, M.D., Introductio and Prudentiam	a special day A day in which I ponder many years of my life, the part in which I have been married. Relationships are complicated. Even the simple ones, those little friendships, those relationships with people we socialize with occasionally, people we do one activity with like a sport or organization. Marriage involves domestic sharing, financial sharing, intimate relations, friendship and much more. A bunch of relationships and implied agreements. I woke up in the middle of a dream this morning. In the dream a tiny baby was aging, wrinkling like an old person before our eyes. But relationships, especially marriage, move more imperceptibly, more glacially. At least the ones that last do. The tempests and tirades may be there so it may not seem calm but the relationship is still changing slowly if at all. [Ed. note: For the record we don't have many blowups at our house. Minor miffs, misunderstandings, the occasional harsh word, sure. But not much in the big theatrical department.] No, marriages just evolve and then one day you find yourself with this complex understanding and history and a set of implied agreements that would make the tax code look small. Each expects the other to do certain things, to almost never do others. You can tell what's going on with this other person, how they are feeling. What they are thinking about doing. You can read a lot from a simple sentence or glance. People say you become alike. I don't think that's true. But you do become hyper aware of the other person as if they are another part of you on remote control. At least, that's how it seems to me. People say every marriage is different. That may be true just as relationships are different in general, just as every person is unique.
JUST TYPING Married long enough To understand that it's meant to be Will be How the union Will outlast even us.
		Food Diary. coffee banana around 2:30 4:30-5:30 some chips and cheese 5:30 big meal...Margarita, chips, salsa, wine (1/2 bottle) carne asada (beef, guac, cheese mole enchilada, a little black bean) and part of a crepes in caramel and ice cream dessert. Hey, it's our anniversary!
		Time flies.... Get up about seven. Coffee, journal, check CNBC. Upset about my web host's slowness problems again today, I purchased some space on another host and started looking at their tutorials and such. Did a little admin job for Forrest, wrote and exchanged some e-mails with buddies and, suddenly, it's 10:30 Time for some exercise. I start trying to get out of the house but I have to go to the bathroom, take the dog out and such. Then I see I need gas. And it's 11:20 when I get to club and 12:40 when I leave I get involved in getting the network and printer to work for FFP and the bookkeeper and check my mail and it's 1:15 and I haven't eaten or taken a shower. I take a shower but before I can dry my hair, FFP phones down. First to ask me a question, then to give me some info. Then the electricians come and I have to go get florescent bulbs for them to fix some fixtures. Then it is 2:30 and I haven't eatern so I dash in and get some water and a banana for lunch. FFP and I have talked about eating in, some gourmet snacks and wine but he's now talking about going out. He decides to go out and, frankly, I'm glad that I don't have to go to the store. Then the maid comes. She didn't finish on Tuesday. You know how the maid upsets me but I decide to stay in my office and clean the place up a bit and read papers and to heck with it. So I read the papers a while, flip on the 1996 film version of Emma and then it's 3:45 and the mail has come and we've sorted through it and then FFP wants me to go pick up a check at the office of a client around the corner so I do that. And then I settle in to do some other stuff and he wants me to make a delivery so I do that, too. Around those errands I eat some cheese and chips. 5:30 Go to Fonda. Stuff our faces on free food for our anniversary. 7:45 Return home and fret over denial of service attack at our WEB host. Move client site to new space. Who cares if people can read this drivel Watch some TV. Why all the hoopla over a woman golfer? She makes the cut or not. It's not like it's a contact sport. Finally got to bed around midnight. Woke up in the night (tomorrow, I guess) with a bit of upset stomach and reflux. One Aloe Vera gel cap fixed that up.

		Reading. Robert Massie's Peter the Great on the bike. Old tall Pete goes back to Moscow and shaves beards and insists on Western dress and tortures a few Streltsky. Still reading Journey Through Genius. Archimedes was a very impressive guy. Don't you think that 4r^{2 (surface area of a sphere) is very elegant. Four? Not some irrational number like again but, um, four. I'm fascinated by the series of numbers after the decimal for that people (and computers) have been calculating all these years. I gave a buddy a poster once with pi to a hundred or two digits and we put it up in the hallway of our office. 3.14159 is about all I ever remember.}
		There is always something else to do.
		Exercise 53 minutes on recumbent bike back exercises, some abs (yes, I hate 'em)
		Needed coffee when I got up but otherwise felt fine. 110/64 71 115/74 78