The Visible Woman...May 13, 2003

A day in which I revisit my concept of the ideal life and try to get closer to the mark.

I have two pieces of paper on which a younger me tried to describe an ideal life. One is dated March 1989. The other is not dated. But I think it's a little older.

This should be useful to me now, you would think. Useful to the reitred me who needs to feel good about how I spend my time. It should be a plan for this older me, the one with the resources not to work and to fulfill some dreams.

The good news? I wrote about exercise, sports, reading, writing. Nice meals (but healthy). Good coffee. Good coffee was mentioned right up there with good deeds. Conversations with friends. Travel. Boy...I have those things in my life right now.

The bad news? I didn't write about having to shop for groceries, make meals, wash dishes and sort through my dead mother's things. I didn't write about a lot of things that just have to be part of life. Like managing investments and paperwork. Picking up after yourself. I did mention the restorative shower after exercise. I did write about running a business and having some sway over providing jobs for others.

These notes were written with the idea that I would try to define a perfect life, with no restrictions because of money, responsibility or health. Not that I expected to overcome those things. No, I wanted to pick out from this 'ideal' life things I actually could do.

So maybe I need to be rich enough to have a chef, an assistant, a full-time housekeeper? Maybe I need the money to make more of a difference with a company and people to run it or a foudation with lots of money?

No. Again, those ideal lives were meant to be instructive dreams, not road maps. Even when written I identified things I already had the ability to do, to live.

I probably need to rethink my ideal. Maybe I'm really living it. But maybe I need to dream it again and see.

reflection on South Congress wherein I somehow simulate the spiky hair I wish I had "We need some imaginative stimulus, some not impossible ideal such as may shape vague hope, and transform it into effective desire, to carry us year after year, without disgust, through the routine-work which is so large a part of life." Blaise Pascal, Marius the Epicurean	a different way of looking at it A day in which I revisit my concept of the ideal life and try to get closer to the mark. I have two pieces of paper on which a younger me tried to describe an ideal life. One is dated March 1989. The other is not dated. But I think it's a little older. This should be useful to me now, you would think. Useful to the reitred me who needs to feel good about how I spend my time. It should be a plan for this older me, the one with the resources not to work and to fulfill some dreams. The good news? I wrote about exercise, sports, reading, writing. Nice meals (but healthy). Good coffee. Good coffee was mentioned right up there with good deeds. Conversations with friends. Travel. Boy...I have those things in my life right now. The bad news? I didn't write about having to shop for groceries, make meals, wash dishes and sort through my dead mother's things. I didn't write about a lot of things that just have to be part of life. Like managing investments and paperwork. Picking up after yourself. I did mention the restorative shower after exercise. I did write about running a business and having some sway over providing jobs for others. These notes were written with the idea that I would try to define a perfect life, with no restrictions because of money, responsibility or health. Not that I expected to overcome those things. No, I wanted to pick out from this 'ideal' life things I actually could do. So maybe I need to be rich enough to have a chef, an assistant, a full-time housekeeper? Maybe I need the money to make more of a difference with a company and people to run it or a foudation with lots of money? No. Again, those ideal lives were meant to be instructive dreams, not road maps. Even when written I identified things I already had the ability to do, to live. I probably need to rethink my ideal. Maybe I'm really living it. But maybe I need to dream it again and see.
JUST TYPING The ideal life. When have you reached it? How would you know? Because it is what you imagined? What others envisioned? Because it feels right now? Or tomorrow?
		Food Diary. coffee A Senorita plate at Guero's which I don't finish (soft chicken taco, queso, guac, beans rice) plus chips and salsas. Bowl of salad with arugula, combo of fatty and non-fat dressing, spinach, other lettuces, green onions, broccoli, cheddar cheese. Nice size protion of salmon sauteed with capers and lemon juice. One strawberry. Red wine (several glasses). A little cheese and the rest of the wine, later on.
		Time flies.... Got up about 6:45, showered, dressed, did the journal for yesterday. 8:30 went to NATI shareholder meeting 10:30 arrived home from NATI meeting checked e-mail wrote some e-mail scanned some pix printed a picture of Mom weaving 11:00 leave for South Austin 11:30 meet CPA at Guero's 12:40 leave CPA, shop Uncommon Objects, took some SoCo pix Drop a picture of my mom off to lady who bought weaving stuff. 1:40 arrive at club 2:53 leave club Go home. Talk to FFP, talk to SuRu on phone, make a 'thank you' card. Talk to Dad on phone. Friend died, agree to go to Cleburne to funeral tomorrow. Call club and cancel participation in tennis 'play day' tomorrow. Go to store and get Salmon, green onions, cereal, coffee and bananas. 6:30 Arrive home. FFP is ready to cook and quickly starts Salmon. I get out salad makings. Watch Who Wants to be a Millionaire. 7:30 Finish eating and cleanup, get another glass of wine and go to office. Update journal. Get a call from SuRu. Dog walk? 9pm Get home from dog walk. Work on journal, reading, whatever while NYPD plays. Watch the end of the basketball game wherein San Antonio tries to choke. Finish reading the day's papers.

		Reading. I am still reading Robert Massie's Peter the Great. I've only read a little over a hundred pages and it's nine hundred pages in paperback. This is a very good and extremely informative book. I am still reading Journey Through Genius in small bites. My respect for Euclid grows. I worked the NYT crossword while waiting for the annual meeting of NATI.
		This is such a farce, having this section. What I'm thinking is that I need to make time each day for a writing 'workout' much like my physical exercise. And, during that time, not work on the journal.
		Exercise 52 minutes on recumbent bike walk around the neighborhood a mile or two
		Physically I feel fine. Stomach a little queasy here and there. 113/73 77 108/75 86

Tuesday, May 13, 2003

A Journal from Austin, Texas. A Project of LBFFP Stealth Publishing.