The Visible Woman...April 27, 2003

Sunday brunch

That phrase is fraught with memories. Mimosas. Eggs with rich sauces. A sleepy after glow.

We've been trying to take Dad's friends Joe and Maja and Dad's preacher and his wife out for a while. Last time we tried no one ended up making it to a brunch at our club. Instead we just entertained the parental units and LG and Pam. We wanted to thank these other folks for their kindness to my parents. Mom when she was sick, Dad through it all and now. Maja wanted to go to Fonda San Miguel. Unfortunately now she can't make it today. Sigh.

Not unpredictably, I get up fuzzy. But I'm soon coffeed up. I don't go to the club with FFP. Instead I fool with my journal, my e-mail cleanup, put the Capresso through its cleanup cycle, pick up a bit, connect the dishwasher and turn it on. (We have the last portable dishwahser in America. Maybe not, but not much of an exaggeration.) FFP comes back from the gym. I shower up and its time for brunch.

You won't find eggs benedict at Fonda. (Although today they do have migas on the buffet.) You can get a mimosa. More importantly you can get all these cool salads...guacamole, spinach, napolitos, ceviche, another cold fish with chipotle mayo and wonderful vegies like corn soufflé that is more like a dessert. And yeah they have desserts. Oh and main dishes...usually several different meats in various molé sauces. Today's beef dish is made from this all-natural Niman Ranch beef and I believe that it tastes especially good.

We meet Joe, my dad and the preacher and his wife at Fonda. FFP and I have a Bloody Mary while we wait. Joe has one when he arrives, too. FFP has a second. But that was the extent of the alcohol consumption. We just blew out on food.

Lisa, our very cute waitress and a long-time favorite of ours, keeps coming by with clean plates. Many clean plates. I have a plate of salad and one of main dishes (a taste of all of them) and a couple of vegies. But others have desserts. Everyone enjoyed, I have to say.

"Well, it's after Easter so you can have anything." I say. "What did you give up for Lent, Preacher. Not golf, I know."

"Nothing. That's our Catholic breathern," the preacher says cheerfully. Joe says unkind things about his golf game and they talk about tramping the woods for lost balls (theirs and other peoples') and trying to find people with connections to get them discounts for playing at different courses. Yep, that's the Methodists all right. Dad doesn't golf. But he and his friends move some furniture in the sanctuary and play dominoes on Fridays.

We show off the yard and then everyone is off. I remind my dad to wear his hearing aids. He 'forgot' again. After a few days of having him hear I'm upset at having to get in his face.

I change back into my shorts and polo and training shoes. I need to go to the club but not when I am this full of food. Wouldn't be safe. I have several other things I need to do: finish cleaning up the e-mail, work on a 'thank you' card, clean up my office, work on the monthly budget, work on a book for my great nephew. What do I actually do? I work on the e-mail for a bit and it causes me to drift off surfing links people have sent me. I also start to think of this and that. I send and answer some realtime e-mail.

OK...a thank-you note. Should be able to whip that one out. That sends me around the WEB looking for pictures and how to say 'thank you' in Icelandic (Takk, I believe, for those keeping score).

I do the 'thank you' note. I use Icelandic stamps and covers and Icelandic money on it because the friend is from Iceland. I wonder if people notice these attempts of mine to be personal. I could just buy cards with a pretty flower and the word 'thanks' or just pretty blank cards or just use the ones we have with are names on them for basic stuff. I have all those around, actually, and I'd be done sooner.

Urgency. Would you think your life would feel more urgent before or after retirement? I feel this urgency every day. To get things done I've set out to do, to make use of my time. I've given priority to the following:

things FFP asks me to do for his business or our personal finances;
my workout regimen;
things I need to do with Dad;
social events;
this journal;
reading, especially books but also newspapers and magazines.

It may be that I also want to learn Java or how to make a movie with the digital camera or that I want to make a book for my smallest great nephew or clean this office. It may be that I want to volunteer more, do more for the community or plan more trips or write a book. But they aren't getting the priority. Oh, I sometimes do things that aren't on the list above. I The laundry, the dishes, feeding myself, reading other peoples' journals, surfing the WEB, a little writing outside this journal, do a little tennis. But I wouldn't say I was giving those things priority. I think I'm watching too many TV programs, though. Maybe I'm giving TV priority in that it takes precedence at times over writing or reading or household stuff. But if I need to workout or do a social event, I don't worry much about missing TV.

The truth is: we have to set a priority every second of the day when we decide what we should do and where to be. When I was working, it was a given where I'd show up. At the office here, the one in Houston or at some conference or customer site. Working within that given, sometimes what you did when you showed up was determined fairly well, too. A meeting maybe or a project that had a looming deadline. Then maybe in the evening you'd have some free time or maybe you'd committed to be somewhere. The truth is a lot of the time you didn't have to decide where to be and what to do. It was already decided. And deciding is harder than you might think.

To give the lie to that statement about ignoring TV if it interferes with my priorities, I am tempted this evening to blow off doing a little aerobic and ab and back work and just watch the two new episodes of King of the Hill followed by the two new episodes of The Simpsons. Instead, I go to the club, hunt down the remote and change one of the TVs to watch Bobby grow roses and then Hank and his buds get head lice while riding the bike. This does interfere with my attempts to finish The Object Stares Back, the book I'm currently reading.

In fact, when I get home, I end up watching more TV during and after dinner. (Dinner is a turkey bacon, lettuce, tomato and cheese sandwich with mayo and horseradish, three green onions and several more ounces of cheese besides that on the sandwich and some tortilla chips. I drink water with it, though. No soda. I'm trying to drink less soda and coffee.) We watch The Simpsons and we watch Six Feet Under (good episode...I love presenting all the personalities and plots against the backdrop of the art show for the students and alums of that school where Claire goes and where Billy went...I think I remember them discussing it. We watch some Law and Order variant or something, too. Then a movie about a woman boxer and then I switch to this women's channel and watch bad old teenage movies with Molly Ringwald.

I go to bed too late. I want to get up early and getting in bed after one isn't the way. I've been trying to work the New York Times magazine crossword and reading some of the Sunday papers while TV rolled by. I don't finish them.

everyone going their own way

"Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he
grows up."

Pablo Picasso

JUST TYPING
picking each moment
apart
into what is done
and thought
teasing out meaning
from the mundane
the soon forgotten
the unconscious

			Sunday brunch That phrase is fraught with memories. Mimosas. Eggs with rich sauces. A sleepy after glow. We've been trying to take Dad's friends Joe and Maja and Dad's preacher and his wife out for a while. Last time we tried no one ended up making it to a brunch at our club. Instead we just entertained the parental units and LG and Pam. We wanted to thank these other folks for their kindness to my parents. Mom when she was sick, Dad through it all and now. Maja wanted to go to Fonda San Miguel. Unfortunately now she can't make it today. Sigh. Not unpredictably, I get up fuzzy. But I'm soon coffeed up. I don't go to the club with FFP. Instead I fool with my journal, my e-mail cleanup, put the Capresso through its cleanup cycle, pick up a bit, connect the dishwasher and turn it on. (We have the last portable dishwahser in America. Maybe not, but not much of an exaggeration.) FFP comes back from the gym. I shower up and its time for brunch. You won't find eggs benedict at Fonda. (Although today they do have migas on the buffet.) You can get a mimosa. More importantly you can get all these cool salads...guacamole, spinach, napolitos, ceviche, another cold fish with chipotle mayo and wonderful vegies like corn soufflé that is more like a dessert. And yeah they have desserts. Oh and main dishes...usually several different meats in various molé sauces. Today's beef dish is made from this all-natural Niman Ranch beef and I believe that it tastes especially good. We meet Joe, my dad and the preacher and his wife at Fonda. FFP and I have a Bloody Mary while we wait. Joe has one when he arrives, too. FFP has a second. But that was the extent of the alcohol consumption. We just blew out on food. Lisa, our very cute waitress and a long-time favorite of ours, keeps coming by with clean plates. Many clean plates. I have a plate of salad and one of main dishes (a taste of all of them) and a couple of vegies. But others have desserts. Everyone enjoyed, I have to say. "Well, it's after Easter so you can have anything." I say. "What did you give up for Lent, Preacher. Not golf, I know." "Nothing. That's our Catholic breathern," the preacher says cheerfully. Joe says unkind things about his golf game and they talk about tramping the woods for lost balls (theirs and other peoples') and trying to find people with connections to get them discounts for playing at different courses. Yep, that's the Methodists all right. Dad doesn't golf. But he and his friends move some furniture in the sanctuary and play dominoes on Fridays. We show off the yard and then everyone is off. I remind my dad to wear his hearing aids. He 'forgot' again. After a few days of having him hear I'm upset at having to get in his face. I change back into my shorts and polo and training shoes. I need to go to the club but not when I am this full of food. Wouldn't be safe. I have several other things I need to do: finish cleaning up the e-mail, work on a 'thank you' card, clean up my office, work on the monthly budget, work on a book for my great nephew. What do I actually do? I work on the e-mail for a bit and it causes me to drift off surfing links people have sent me. I also start to think of this and that. I send and answer some realtime e-mail. OK...a thank-you note. Should be able to whip that one out. That sends me around the WEB looking for pictures and how to say 'thank you' in Icelandic (Takk, I believe, for those keeping score). I do the 'thank you' note. I use Icelandic stamps and covers and Icelandic money on it because the friend is from Iceland. I wonder if people notice these attempts of mine to be personal. I could just buy cards with a pretty flower and the word 'thanks' or just pretty blank cards or just use the ones we have with are names on them for basic stuff. I have all those around, actually, and I'd be done sooner. Urgency. Would you think your life would feel more urgent before or after retirement? I feel this urgency every day. To get things done I've set out to do, to make use of my time. I've given priority to the following: things FFP asks me to do for his business or our personal finances; my workout regimen; things I need to do with Dad; social events; this journal; reading, especially books but also newspapers and magazines. It may be that I also want to learn Java or how to make a movie with the digital camera or that I want to make a book for my smallest great nephew or clean this office. It may be that I want to volunteer more, do more for the community or plan more trips or write a book. But they aren't getting the priority. Oh, I sometimes do things that aren't on the list above. I The laundry, the dishes, feeding myself, reading other peoples' journals, surfing the WEB, a little writing outside this journal, do a little tennis. But I wouldn't say I was giving those things priority. I think I'm watching too many TV programs, though. Maybe I'm giving TV priority in that it takes precedence at times over writing or reading or household stuff. But if I need to workout or do a social event, I don't worry much about missing TV. The truth is: we have to set a priority every second of the day when we decide what we should do and where to be. When I was working, it was a given where I'd show up. At the office here, the one in Houston or at some conference or customer site. Working within that given, sometimes what you did when you showed up was determined fairly well, too. A meeting maybe or a project that had a looming deadline. Then maybe in the evening you'd have some free time or maybe you'd committed to be somewhere. The truth is a lot of the time you didn't have to decide where to be and what to do. It was already decided. And deciding is harder than you might think. To give the lie to that statement about ignoring TV if it interferes with my priorities, I am tempted this evening to blow off doing a little aerobic and ab and back work and just watch the two new episodes of King of the Hill followed by the two new episodes of The Simpsons. Instead, I go to the club, hunt down the remote and change one of the TVs to watch Bobby grow roses and then Hank and his buds get head lice while riding the bike. This does interfere with my attempts to finish The Object Stares Back, the book I'm currently reading. In fact, when I get home, I end up watching more TV during and after dinner. (Dinner is a turkey bacon, lettuce, tomato and cheese sandwich with mayo and horseradish, three green onions and several more ounces of cheese besides that on the sandwich and some tortilla chips. I drink water with it, though. No soda. I'm trying to drink less soda and coffee.) We watch The Simpsons and we watch Six Feet Under (good episode...I love presenting all the personalities and plots against the backdrop of the art show for the students and alums of that school where Claire goes and where Billy went...I think I remember them discussing it. We watch some Law and Order variant or something, too. Then a movie about a woman boxer and then I switch to this women's channel and watch bad old teenage movies with Molly Ringwald. I go to bed too late. I want to get up early and getting in bed after one isn't the way. I've been trying to work the New York Times magazine crossword and reading some of the Sunday papers while TV rolled by. I don't finish them.
	everyone going their own way "Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up." Pablo Picasso

	JUST TYPING picking each moment apart into what is done and thought teasing out meaning from the mundane the soon forgotten the unconscious