Wednesday,
May 8, 2002
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.. flowers
©2002 by Jerry, all rights reserved
"Attention to health is the
greatest hindrance to life." |
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is this all there is? My time is wasted. Looking for a meeting that is in a secret conference room that shares a number with another office, not next to it, that an admin on the other end of the hall doesn't know about. Getting there to waste my time listening to people talk about things that will not soon help my product line. Meetings planned and meetings threatened. My product line's most important conference next week. Calling a meeting is not an achievement. New managers are better at building teamwork than the last ones...especially if they think multiple several hour meetings prove it. So I don't get as much done as I should on my other responsibilities.
My mother makes it to the cat scan. She is telling me that they 'picked up all the xrays' and 'took them there.' I can't decide what they took where. She seems to think the GP has ordered the test. Hard to say. Dad took her out to breakfast after. In
the evening, I call but they are gone. This is good news because it means
she felt like going to the church supper on Wednesday night. It's bad
news because I was going over there and now I don't and later when she
calls she will sound like she feels neglected. In this evening call, she
says she is OK except her back hurts and it's arthritis. (I honestly think
she isn't complaining about her chest because somehow she feels the test
won't show anything.) She says someone at church recommended a cream and
they got some on the way home. It 'soothes her but [make no mistake] does
not stop the pain.' "You mean the physical therapy? Dad moved it to Monday because they needed an entire hour the first visit." "No, he doesn't know." "He
showed me a piece of paper with an appointment he'd worked out." "Well,
he said it was Monday." I don't want to get this way. But it seems inevitable. And my mother (all our parents really) are in much better shape mentally than a lot of people's parental units. She does know who I am and while she's confused and has an apparent hypochondria to complicate her real woes, she is not in that bad a shape. I have to confess, though, that I hung up from the above conversation far more upset with her just because I feel like she could easily gut it up, bear up to the pain and even coordinate her own appointments. It's hard to say, though. If she was totally incoherent that would be different. I actually feel she is manipulating me but perhaps not. That's probably an over reaction. I'm glad that I have no children and will go quietly, torturing minimum wage workers somewhere who at least are getting paid and aren't emotionally invested. By the way, lest my few readers worry, I know this is all normal and will upset me, worst to come, tough decisions, I have my own life. I'm dealing with it. But I find it interesting to chronicle the saga. Especially so I'll remember that she actually went from having a 'broken back' to it not being her back and back again.
FFP and I did get a workout in the evening. He made salmon with capers and served it with canned spinach (some good brand...they must have animal fat in there). I had some cheese and crackers, too, and a couple of gins with diet tonic. I enjoy a short workout. I need to move more.
I stay up too late, reading and idly watching the end of What Women Want for the second time and then getting caught up in Travolta's Swordfish.
I almost didn't do this entry. Almost spent my time otherwise this morning. Just let the journal go, be something I did until this date. But I didn't. I probably won't update next week. I will probably have the technology, as they say, although I can't easily upload pictures. (Actually I can't do it at all. And I'm not taking a camera in any case. Locked in a mega-hotel, it's just one more thing.)
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181
JUST
TYPING