Tuesday. December 25, 2001

Dad ponders the gifts, gift certificates in his pocket

my father-in-law looks at a new dollar my dad gave him

Forrest inspects the recycled gift

the moms looking festive

"Liberality consists less in giving a great deal than in gifts well timed."

Jean de La Bruyère, Du Coeur

We get up and have coffee and I do a little work on my journal. I try out this www.gotomypc.com thing and, ineplictably, lose the definition of my site on Dreamweaver when I bring it up. Then I have trouble contacting the machine, but it finally sort of works. Amazing technology. Whether I keep it beyond the free trial, I don't know.

We gather up the gifts we have for our parents and get ready for the Christmas ritual.

My parents are over right on time, early even. We unload our presents and FFP's Mom and Dad bustle about putting out a meal. Forrest's Mom recounts the companies who have provided the food. "Pepperidge Farm, Pillsbury, I should do commercials for TV." Frozen or pre-prepared, it's good all the same and she has her signature ambrosia and Waldorf salads. She has made peach turnovers for dessert from some prepared rolls I think. I eat seconds of the turkey, Waldorf, peas and carrots and dressing and gravy but no dessert. I have to admit that I really like gravy better when it's made with the giblets of a real turkey but it's all fine.

Then we exchange gifts. There is lots of exchanges of money in different guises. And recycling of presents. FFP's parents give us audio tapes that his dad is finished with that we gave him and cash. My dad gives his parents HEB gift certificates. Mom gets two jigsaw puzzles, one from me and one from FFP's Mom. The moms get soap and FFP's mom gets some powder and stuff. Dad gives FFP's Dad a new dollar because he likes coins. His vision is so bad that he gets out a magnifying glass to look at it. FFP gives me a stack of books that he 'selected' from our own library. I wouldn't have sworn we owned any of them and might have been tempted at the bookstore. FFP is surprised at the Calphalon pans because I've spirited the big box over to his Mom's secretly. I also give him a load of new flippers and tongs and spoons for nonstick pans. This is really for both of us, of course. Now I have to clean out the cabinet where we keep pots and pans and get rid of some old stuff. Dad gets three books, appropriate for him.

It's a ritual exchange, just a chance to have something wrapped up, to be thought of for a moment by someone else. Accompanying my money from his parents is a note that says 'we always think you will know more about what you like.' Indeed. It's true. Still, the ritual is fun. My sister made me responsible for getting the parents a gift certificate to eat out. Mom is more interested in the card I selected (it has a little miniature Turkish rug on it).

This ritual over, we suggest going to our house.

Mom and I start on a jigsaw puzzle. FFP shows takes of last year's Mother Gingers to the parents which amuses them. Forrest's parents have had enough but mine hang around and visit. Dad and Forrest read and Mom and I work on the puzzle. I feed Mom soup and crackers so she can take pills. She has remembered to bring her drugs so she doesn't have to go home. Mom wants to go hear Rebecca. I suggest that she might should rest, but she really wants to go. We put together a sample of Mom's glazed pecans to give Rebecca, wrapping them in Christmas cellophane and tying a pretty tag on with curling ribbon. Mom's thrilled to have something to give her.

We have snacks and drinks and listen and Mom manages to stay alert. Around nine we pack it in.

The big TV is completely hosed now so we sit in our easy chairs and read. I work crosswords. I am a lazy, lazy person. Oh. Well. It's a vacation. I've gotten through the gift-giving and celebration for another year. I have a few more days of vacation to get things done I'm determined to do and to get ready to go to New York and have a vacation. But I'm starting to feel anxious about getting it all done. And, frankly, I also have to do a couple of work things before I go to New York. So I've got to spend my time wisely. Tomorrow I plan to help my mother navigate the medical system to see if I can figure out what's going on.

JUST TYPING
Giving gifts.
When nothing is needed.
Becomes.
Exchange of funds.
And thoughtfulness.
An excuse to decorate a box, to crumple bright tissue, to curl ribbon.