Saturday

Sept. 15, 2001

"on the occasion of your death"

I figured I'd use a quote today to title the page. "We're at war." Maybe. Then I picked this. From the fireman priest's service. In his order, everyone fills out a form with the title 'on the occasion of your death.' "It does not say," the eulogist said, "if you should die." You will. I will.

Started the day with a dog walk. Called SuRu and she and I headed out around the neighborhood. There was a garage sale and there were my in-laws. They had a large basket purse to use to collect things they wanted. My mother-in-law showed me a small oriental motif dish for twenty-five cents. She said they really found a good one last week and I should come over and see the things she got.

Elsewhere we look at houses for sale for too much money. The one listed for 'best offer' is still for sale. I don't think houses are selling. Especially not today.

As we head back to 45th street, we see a race going by. A group running in formation is from the fire department. I can't help looking at them in a new way.

I shower and dress and I go to Jane's. A Barber Shoppe. I desperately need a haircut. And it won't hurt to hear her take on it.

Which is surprising. At first she wanted to deport all Muslims and burn the mosques. She prayed. God told her that these terrorists were no different than the militant separatists like Timothy McVeigh, no different from the KKK. I'm glad he told her that. I'm relieved to hear it. I wish God would have a little talk with Jerry Falwell. God or no god, I think, one can damn one's soul. And one can do it through hate or violence.

I start reading this entry from Sarah D. Bunting at Jane's Internet station. When I get home, I see that FFP has sent me a note about this outstanding description of her experience.

The electrician comes. He's going to add a circuit just for my office and my computers. Next I'll put in separate air conditioning. But he's coming back next week to actually do it.

FFP makes me leftovers from last night's dinner and it's even better than last night. Some food is like that.

Monday, before all this happened, I was thinking about my business trip, lugging my laptop, getting a minute to take a picture somewhere with my digital camera. The only problem is that downloading them to my company laptop is a problem. The USB connector doesn't work with NT. The serial connector does but is slow. I looked into readers. Parallel port ones claimed to support NT. I found a pretty good nerd stuff site that claimed to have one and ordered it. Thirty-five bucks is within my realm of painless.

That was Monday. I remembered doing it, but thought (1) I'm probably not going on the trip; (2) no way it will be shipped, given all that is happening. Of course, the reader showed up on my door step yesterday. UPS Ground soldiers on. So after I had my walk, haircut, lunch and talk with the electrician, I decide to try it. The first thing I notice is that the thing draws power from the keyboard port. Both the connector for the keyboard port and the connector to the keyboard (which of course I don't usually use on the laptop) have tags saying 'WARNING...must be connected.' I test it with a keyboard and then, what the heck, just disconnect the keyboard. It still works. Boot. It still works. So, cool.

I make some backups of stuff on my computer and FFP's to CD. I make a CD of the presentations that I'm supposed to give in Europe. If I go there. I also put them on a Compact Flash card which I can now read on my laptop. Just to show I can.

I consider taking the network down to try this new device that will eliminate a display and a keyboard and a mouse. But I kind of hate to take it down. I don't know why. Well, I do know but it's silly.

I talked to my mom. She was making something to take to a church barbeque. They are raising money for something. They spend a lot of time at church. Prayers on Tuesday for the terrorists' victims, a dinner on Wednesday, card games on Friday morning and this event. It's a good social network for them. And the Methodists aren't too good at hate so, all in all, I'm cool with my parents going there.

While I'm trying (in vain) to straighten up this room, I keep watching the TV. Even though, even though...it is driving me crazy. My head is spinning. I try to watch Jane Eyre instead. And catch the end of Run, Lola, Run. Then it's back to the coverage. I need to watch, I can't stop. I try cleaning up a bit more. I notice a bendy that I bought in Portland. I don't collect them anymore. (Yeah, really.) But I'm not made of stone. So I bought this one. She is stunning. Orange afro, white platform boots. She's black and has heavy make-up. But...she is wearing a red and white mini dress and a blue shirt with stars. Hmmm....

So, yeah, everything seems to take on meaning. There is the personal level of worrying about my possible trip. Going on the trip is worrisome. Cancelling it is trouble, too. Then I see that some airlines are cutting back service. So will my flights even exist? How about those of my friend Mags, coming in December?

Speaking of taking on meaning. Remember Forrest's dream? Well, if you read that, you know that he and other would-be rescuers in his dream encountered a transparent surface that kept them from getting to victims. Given the bragging the pentagon has been doing about the renovation of that part of the building and how well it held up and how the windows were coated to keep them from shattering, the dream becomes even more solemn.

I need something normal. So...Zoot. Food, wine. That sounds good. We go early. Have some great green gazpacho. Some apps compliments of the kitchen. Drink a bottle of wine from our cellar.

Then we go to Jeffrey's. Just to see. Other people out being normal, too, and see how their crowds are. A brand new BMW goes by as we walk from the parking lot. It's the chef, David. The place is pretty crowded. People escaping. The news. The economy. Their lives. We have an ounce of caviar and I have a glass of champagne. We dawdle and FFP has a coffee drink and berries with Grand Marnier.

At home, we sleep. I am gulping down sleep now having missed more than I can handle over the week. I don't turn on the TV either. I will find out in the morning if anything has changed.

ebay war memorabilia

Meta:
Many journalers posted, many close to the disasters....

JUST TYPING
One can only do a little.
Change one's own attitude and actions.
And hope for ripples.