Tuesday

April 3, 2001

the roses in the flamingo bed are blooming

Forrest is reading the book I quoted. I opened it at random while he drove us downtown to see Bailey White and David Sedaris at the Paramount.

But I'd already decided to call this piece confessions. Really. I would tell you if it weren't true.

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I eat too much. Candy out of people's offices. Chips. (They shouldn't give them away at work.) Sodas. (They shouldn't give THEM away at work either but that's not where I usually have them.) And on and on.

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In the bookstore, I open books at random and read a paragraph. With computer books that appear to be about an acronym I never heard of (XFLHTML or something), I try to read enough to find out what the technology is about. In the case of my fictional (I confess) example, I might find on the back cover or in an introduction that it was a markup language for those little x's and o's used to describe football plays. If it's a computer book on a topic I do know SOMETHING about (i.e. I recognize the acronym), I look up something in the index I've been wondering about. When I'm retired and poor, I will read entire books in the store. I will become angry when the book sells out or is sent off to remainder before I can finish it.

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But back to food. I have a crazy obsession for those little candy hearts at Valentine's that are pure sugar and occasionally crave candy corn or orange slices. When I was a kid and baseball cards came with gum, I would stack up all the pink sheets of gum (with the white sugary powder coating) and then meticulously chew them until my little stomach churned. (This and poor dental hygiene are doubtless to blame for my many early cavities.)

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I feel completely stupid at work sometimes. I have to figure something out and I think "by now I should know this." Or...someone starts throwing around an acronym and I haven't cheated at the bookstore and figured out what it means. Other times, I confess, I feel inordinately good about myself because I can make a comment or offer advice that some colleague at least pretends is cogent.

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And finally: I sometimes have a desire to start over at the very beginning on page 1. Of what? Of anything.

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What's all this, you ask? How was David Sedaris and Bailey White? (Funny. Good. Particularly David's accounts of mangled French translated back into English and Bailey's account of a house and garden through the years.) What did you have for lunch? (Vegie Burger. Edge City. Walked around B&N. They have a display of career makeover and job seeking books prominently displayed. Wonder why?) Didn't you go somewhere after? (Four Seasons. Where Rebecca was playing, not singing. She said she had an allergy. Had watched movies because she was sick during the day. And confessed that sometimes she felt she got sick just to give herself a break. And there was a convention of guys with beer bellies there. Really. I think so. A lot of guys. Most with big bellies. They all knew each other. Weird. We had some cokes and I had some potstickers. And olives, salty snacks and sugared pecans. That food thing.)

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