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Monday March 26, 2001
"The trouble with the rat-race is that even if you win, you are still a rat." Lily Tomlin
"What is success? It is a toy balloon among children with pins." Gene Fowler, Skyline
"If A is success in life, then A equals X plus Y plus Z. Work is X. Y is play and Z is keeping your mouth shut." Albert Einstein
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memos to self If you are doing your teeth brushing, flossing, hair ritual after 8AM: you may actually see the beginning of one of those do-it-yourself court programs on the B&W bathroom TV (network only). You can only switch to Sesame Street so fast. Argh. It is good to learn about Javascript, disjoint rollovers, graphic editing, etc. But it doesn't mean you should use all these things on your page. It doesn't. Really. The future is unknown. It really is. You understand the plans you have and others have. You know probabilities. Patterns. But you don't know the future. So the best you can do is collect cards to play in different situations. Develop skills. Make friends. Save money (in different instruments). Work on an attitude and way of living (and giving to others) that will see you through. Get rid of debt. Don't think you can completely influence the way things turn out. Don't think you have no effect on your future! It does make a difference what you do. It just doesn't always make the difference you think it will. And everyone forgets to plan to be happy. And don't forget what Woody Allen said about success being mostly showing up. Mondays can be a real downer when the weekend was so utterly nice. The physical things can get in the way of the mental things. Yeah, I've been trying to pare down my stuff. Store things unlikely to be used again out of sight. Organize the things I need for life, for projects, for pleasure so I can find them. It goes slowly. I stop and read a magazine to see if I should throw it in recycling. I sort and box stuff that really should be tossed. Later I look through it and actually toss it. Or worse. Still keep it. I organize into a set of boxes and folders and then forget the imaginary 'system' before I get back to it. My day. Hmmm. There were some repercussion from taking off Friday afternoon. What I can't be sure of is...was it good or bad. I'll vote good. I got hopes up, hopes dashed. I agreed to two meetings today and they were both good ones. I think. Again it's hard to say. On the way out someone asks me 'what about x?' They are feeling toward me the way I feel toward my superiors: when are you going to get around to my issues. The difference is that I can't actually implement a decision for them. I have to convince them. When I come home and FFP isn't here, it feels weird. It's OK to bang around the house by myself. Often when he is here we are off in different parts of the house, doing our own thing. I find a tape to get Ally McBeal but feel bad when he comes home and asks if I taped Boston Public. I hate that he missed the episode with the hit list, the girls shower security video, the viewing of the suicide victim, the pants on the flag pole, the teacher sending the whole class to the principal's office. I could pass on either show. Or Third Watch which is also a Monday favorite with FFP and some of our buddies. But Third Watch is my favorite of the three. Although I don't like the Boscarelli character but then, I don't think you are supposed to like him. |
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