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April 27, 2000
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rewarding day SuRu and I decided to carpool for Ozone Action Day. Actually, we had this meeting and decided to go to work together because of it. I'm not sure why, exactly, but we did. Then we learned it was ozone action day. We live like one block apart and work on the same hallway so carpooling really seems like a good idea but we rarely do it. Instead of having the Continental Breakfast before the meeting, we decided to stop at Aranda's Taqueria (Number 3) for a Mexican Breakfast. Our neighbor Michael is there, eating breakfast alone. We discuss property taxes. Our silverware was sanitized for our protection. The wrapper had graces for three religions on the back. The entire meal for the two of us cost $4.96. "Is two dollars enough?" Ru asks, volunteering to tip. "Yeah, of course," I say, knowing that the waitress certainly can't argue with the percentage. The meeting was at the Arbor Theater. They put the company name on the marquee inside. But most of the meeting wasn't live, but a telecast. And all the managers wanting people to show up if they got awards was, while sweet, silly since it didn't really matter if you were there. So many people saw 'mandatory' and actually responded that there weren't enough seats. I got a piece of crystal. At least there was a picture of it on the movie screen and it will doubtless show up on my tax return. However, I haven't actually seen the crystal in person. It looks like a sailboat. It isn't something I'd buy for myself. I'm glad the dog fight in my house didn't break the other crystal the company gave me. I don't think the neighbors would have liked to hear the alleged value of it. I don't know where I'll put this one when it does show up. I guess I should explain the pictures. I'm often stopped by the traffic light at this corner. It is about a minute from my office. It is about five minutes from the house where the parents will live. What, you ask, am I doing to them? Well, it looks a little better five minutes away. But this corner. The huge power lines are here, of course. If I'd swung the camera left, there's an elevated freeway. But it really spoke to me when they added the chicken fast food place with its flags. I just regret I didn't catch it when the inflatable cow was on the roof. Chalow is better. Slow, but going through her routine. The wounds on her shoulder and backside are looking better. The paw with the ripped nail is tender. But I think she's going to be OK. The neighbors paid for the vet and the damage and gave us the rabies certificate and a very sweet note hoping that putting the dog down gives us peace of mind. It does. I feel sad for them and their dog, but I don't think I could let Chalow live next door to an animal that has tasted her blood. I also feel very violated because the animal sneaked into the house. I don't know why that upsets me so much. Because I feel guilty about not keeping Chalow safe, I guess. Forrest is feeling guilty because he heard the fight and thought the maids were moving furniture. If he hadn't been expecting the maids, he would have rushed down. But what if we'd both left the house? I don't want to think about it. You get these outcomes. You don't get to relive them. You get new ones. I'm glad that the neighbors did this...did what I think they should have...all they could do. I don't like tiffs with people you have to live near. I don't have to love them, but I've got to live next door to them, possibly for a very long time. And it's easier to forgive since Chalow is healing pretty well. I'm thinking about our trip we leave for in one week. I'm glad Chalow will be well enough that I can leave her. Her Aunt Gayle has agreed to babysit. Forrest and I are going to start traveling together more and more so we are going to have to fall into a rhythm. I made him a master packing list that I'll adapt to each trip. I'm going to set him up with a new toiletry setup. I ordered some new suitcases. (I have a bag fetish.) I'm making little rules for myself about travel to try to enfore with him. Like: take only one book. Because we know we will buy some. Boy, I'm happy the dog is better or I would feel really bad about leaving her. Still, it's hard to see her take the steps one at a time like an old lady. And when she would have run full speed, she walks slowly. I keep coming back to the dog, don't I?
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"Suffering does not only insulate. It drops victims on an island in an ocean desert where he sees men as distant ships passing." W.N.P. Barbellion, The Journal of a Disappointed Man & A Last Diary
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my parents' soon-to-be neighborhood
Forrest's sent me this apparently because of the term 'heard the fight' over there: 'Please put a note on your 4/27 entry, so people won't think I'm a total idiot. The only sounds I heard that were related to the fight were two bumps--like "babum"--certainly no crashes or yelps. If I had heard a crash, I would have come downstairs to see if something valuable was broken. I just kind of dismissed it as the maid dropping a laundry basket. In retrospect, I am feeling guilty as hell for not getting up and going downstairs."
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